


Potion No.7; Extremely Poisonous

by fluentchaos



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-04-12 03:33:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluentchaos/pseuds/fluentchaos
Summary: In which a family separated by war is reunited by chance and a boy with a thirst for greatness seeks knowledge in places he'd rather not. Circumstances are undesirable and newfound fascination threatens to unhinge man and beast alike.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is much appreciated!

_“Aurors, Get down!”_

A loud explosion rattled a small building that lay center of England's most crime-filled city, blue light shattering windows and its neighborhood resonating with an echoing _boom_.

Two parties dueled for some time, throwing spells back and forth to no avail, most of them missing their target and ricocheting off walls in a destructive manner.

“Fuck!” The head of the Black family shouted, ducking the beam of red light aimed in his direction.

Rolling himself behind a tall desk, the man couldn't help but regret rushing to this rickety shop without James. It was the day after Yule and his friend was at home with his family - what was left of it anyway - having dinner while his son was home from Hogwarts. Sirius was sure that this lead would be another bust, a criminals intel was never trustworthy and they had received plenty of false leads before. But, as he dodged another curse heading for his exposed side, he couldn't help but inwardly curse his luck.

Crouching, wand held firmly in his right hand, he surveyed his surroundings. The place was certainly fitting for an illicit potions dealer, though he admitted that it must have seen better days.

The stale air matched the old wooden flooring and peeling wallpaper, not that there was much left of it of course, the last explosion blew a good chunk of the walls to bits. Broken windows left the floor scattered with bits of glass and splintered wood. Sirius honestly worried about how sturdy the foundation of the place was now, considering the circumstances.

The room now stood silent, dust quickly settling down the atmosphere. Glancing to his right, he eyed another auror - Kingsley Shacklebolt - who now hid behind a fallen table, nursing an injury to his wrist. Said auror met his eyes, nodding behind him at something out of Sirius’ sight. One of the assailants then. He had long ago put together that there must be more than one, offending spells coming from separate locations led Sirius to suspect that there must be at least two.

The clinking of shattered glass brought him out of his thoughts and he blindly cast a stunning spell in its general direction, by the answering thump, he had hit his target. He inwardly cheered.

Sirius waited.

Surely the other would act out in defense of their fallen ally? Or perhaps they would at least pull their fallen’s unconscious body out of the aurors’ reach? Several moments passed, yet not a sound was heard, no acts of revenge or rescue were made. Sirius began to wonder if their pursued had escaped without his notice. Furrowing his eyebrows, he strained his ears for any giving sound and just as he was about to peak over the busted desktop he heard it. A barely audible whisper, it was rushed and he couldn’t make out the words, but it came from behind the wall in next to the stairway to his left.

“Shit” Sirius cursed in his head

The stairway was just on his left, he barely had coverage from as he just confirmed, two more assailants. He was surprised they hadn't seen him by now. The auror knew that he needed to quickly move to the other side of the desk without drawing any attention to himself.

Turning towards Kingsley, he signaled their location and in a swiping motion the plan to move to more coverage. The auror nodded, wincing in pain as he shifted to the side and Sirius wanted to groan. Their odds weren’t looking as well as he had hoped.

Sirius set his hands on the dirty floor to support himself and began to carefully crawl to the other side of the structure. He winced as his knuckles pressed harshly against a shard of glass, rendering his wand hand bloody. He waited one moment, then two and pushed his body to the other side, letting his back rest heavily against the desk he cringed as the movement caused glass phials to fall off the tabletop. The sound of them shattering seemed to echo throughout the quiet room, and lightning quick, a bright flash hurdled past him, obliterating the already crumbling wall across from him instead. Quickly peeking his head over his cover he aimed and shot a blasting curse at the wall his attacker hid behind, he ducked back just in time to see a raven-haired figure jump out of the way of the falling debris.

Sirius froze. There was only one man behind that wall, where was the other?

_“Reducto!”_

The quiet incantation was Sirius’ only warning before the curse was flying towards him, he used the split second before the curse hit to cast a wordless ‘ protego ’ in hopes that it would be enough. The spell obliterated his shield on impact and left Sirius flying backward, wand forced from his grip, he distantly heard it clink onto the wood floor. He landed heavily on his back, knocking his head on the floor afterward yet it's blow still had him groaning out in pain. His own voice sounded distant to him over the ringing of his ears.

He heard the voice of his companion sound out with a disarming spell and he forced open his eyes that he didn’t realize he closed to see him dueling with their assailant. The man was tall, with greying hair and muggle clothing - an odd sight in a place like this.

Pulling his eyes from the criminal’s direction, he surveyed the ground for his wand as he forced himself off the ground, wincing in pain as he did so. Seeing that his wand had rolled into some odd liquid, he scrunched his nose and fetched it from the ground and hurriedly wiped it on his robes.

“The other one Black!”

Whipping his head up he stared past the dueling forms to see the raven haired man - no - boy passing through a void in the wall, making his escape. He examined the boy through what used to be a window as he ran past. Shiny black curls that were swept back from the wind, an angular jaw, high cheekbones, and hooded eyes - the sight made Sirius’ stomach lurch with an odd sense of familiarity.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, he stumbled after him, absentmindedly dodging a curse heading towards him, likely meant to shake him off the boy’s path. Emerging from the crevice in the walls he ran down the cobblestone street just in time to see the boy turn a corner. Wincing at a pain in his side, he glanced down, slightly shocked to see his abdomen soaked red, the stain spreading further by the second.

Clutching his stomach, Sirius turned the corner and skidded to a halt to see the boy facing him at a dead end, behind him a tall apartment building with small children playing outside.

They met each other's eyes.

“Looks like you break the Statute of Secrecy or let me go, your choice,” The boy spoke, his voice was light and casual despite the cold expression painted on his face.

The boy’s arms were loose and at his sides, a wand being twirled between his bony fingers, face expectant. And those emerald eyes, they were unmistakably one of a kind. The contrast from those eyes to the pale skin and midnight-black hair was astonishing, and maybe he was reaching, but he had only ever seen such a mix in one person.

Harry.

“Well?” The boy prompted, seemingly growing impatient with Sirius’ lack of response.

Said man’s mouth opened and closed, overcome with shock and unable to settle on words.

“Are aurors really so… slow? Or just plain incompetent?” The boy asked mockingly, “I wonder if I just, walked right past, would you continue gaping like a scruffy fish out of water?” He took a step forward, testing the wordless man almost recklessly.

Sirius couldn’t help but find amusement in the dry attitude.

“I… you just look a bit like someone I used to know.” The man finally explained, attempting to gain his bearing and stop embarrassing himself senselessly.

The boy’s lips tilted downwards.

“Ah, perhaps it's both then. Well, what's your choice?” He asked, ignoring Sirius’ reply.

Sirius’ mind blanked.

“About what?” He asked warily

The boy sighed and crossed his arms.

“Do you want to duel in view of these innocent muggles or let me pass?” He asked, pronouncing each word slowly as if speaking to a child.

The auror felt heat creep up his neck.

Sirius shook his head and stepped towards him, only resulting in the boy taking a step back.

“I don't want to duel you.” Sirius told him, speaking truthfully.

The green-eyed boy raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“You… I mean, how old are you?” Sirius stumbled over his words, the boy’s heavy gaze throwing him off.

The boy shifted, and leaned his weight on one side.

“Certainly too young for the likes of you. Sorry to disappoint.” He replied with the slightest of hesitation.

Sirius’ stomach dropped.

“ No! _No,_ not - that's not why I wanted to know!” He stuttered, panicked over the thought of being perceived as some old pervert.

The boy seemed amused, a coy smile playing on his lips.

“What? Don't you think I'm pretty?” He pouted playfully, jutting out his lower lip, bright eyes downcast.

Sirius stuttered more and held his hands in front of him, unsure what to do.

“That's not what I mean, it's just - I'm old. And not, how do I explain this.. You look like my godson who went missing as a child. My name is Sirius, Sirius Black.” The auror finally got out, hoping that the boy could even make any sense out of the words.

The boy's face went blank again. Gone were the playful demeanor and the teasing smiles, instead brash coldness replacing it.

Before Sirius could blink the boy whipped his arm up and sharply swished his wand in a spell, aiming directly towards the aurors’ face. And without the chance to move even an inch, the spell forcefully collided with his head, knocking him down onto the stone pavement.

Any attempt he made to get up or defend himself were made useless when his body refused to answer his commands. Every inch of him tingled and no amount of will would shatter the tight binding of his every muscle. Even his attempts to open his mouth to speak were without result. Sirius knew the curse, of course - petrificus totalus - it wasn’t necessarily dark, but it effects could be potentially lethal. Overpowering the spell could cause permanent paralyzation, and Sirius only hoped that the boy had the mind, or the mercy, to not do so. It was then that his mind decided to remind him where exactly the boy had been running from and what his part may have been in Sirius’ investigation. Reasons why he obviously shouldn't have so easily let his guard down around him. Sirius wanted to hit himself. Repeatedly.

Suddenly the boy came within his view, standing directly above him, looking down at him with that horribly expressionless face and those glowing, green eyes.

“I'm not your godson, so please forget such ridiculous ideas. Attempting to arrest me will only result in further failure and humiliation, so rid yourself of those silly notions as well.”

And with those two, harsh sentences, the boy stepped over him and disappeared from his sight, light retreating steps distantly registering in his mind.

Sirius wanted to scream or sigh at the very least. How could he be so stupid?

It felt like centuries before an auror found him, but was really only an hour. The playing children had long ago run off upon seeing him laying, bloodied on the ground. He was reminded of just what kind of town this was when said kids did not return with help.

His body icy from the cold weather and practically delirious from blood loss, Sirius repeated the previous events over and over again in his mind -searching for any viable evidence that that boy could really be Harry. He looked around the right age, and despite his small figure, his face looked quite mature. And those eyes. He didn't remember them being so… expressive when he was a baby. They had been bright, and happy as a little boy. Just a shade deeper than Lily's. But these eyes... they were certainly bright - practically glowing - but no longer were they so happy, nor innocent. They were eyes of a man who had suffered. Though Sirius hoped, that in his barely conscious state, he was just seeing things.

_What a day._

 

James sprinted past the stark white walls of St. Mungos. It was only minutes ago that he received a patronus from an auror, informing him that his best friend had been hospitalized after a confrontation with their supposed illegal potions dealer. The patronus was brief in its wording, only mentioning where Sirius was and why, there was absolutely no word of his condition.

“Sirius!” James called out his name as he busted through the double doors of his room, eyes frantically searching for his friend.

There! Against the left wall on one of the blindingly white beds lay his scruffy friend looking worse for the wear, but thankfully still alive.

“What's with you? Looking like your best mate landed himself in the infirmary  - oh wait!.” Sirius japed, a forced smile painting his face.

James sighed in relief, shaking his head he moved to stand at the man's bedside.

“You joke like a forty-year-old, post divorcee father in suburbia.” He retorted, a shaky grin growing on his face.

“Well at least I don't dress like one.” Sirius threw back, glancing him up and down with disgust.

Quiet chuckles escaped the two without permission.

James sat on the edge of the injured man's cot, warily shoving a leg but of his way. Seeing no sign of discomfort on Sirius’ face, he made himself comfortable.

“You're okay?” He asked

Sirius nodded.

“Yup. Healers got me all stitched up.” The man gestured to his seemingly healthy state.

“You're not getting off this one without an explanation, mate.” James told him when an uncomfortable silence grew.

Sirius shifted and glanced down, his eyebrows furrowed. James took this time to examine how beat the man looked, more mentally it seemed than anything. Dark bags were under his eyes that James knew weren't there the day before. His cheeks pale, and his eyes seemed… lost.

“I didn't hear anything about casualties, did we lose one of ours?” James tried again, his voice softer this time.

Sirius shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, only to close it again.

“No one died. I just… saw someone. I-I don't know how to say this..” Sirius drifted off, finally gaining the courage to meet the other's eyes.

James bit his cheek in anticipation, if only he could hear the thoughts that the other couldn't seem to articulate.

“I-I saw him James.. I saw Harry,” Sirius told him with some struggle.

James froze. His body tensed, his back straightened, his jaw clenched.

“Don’t.” He said, turning away from the man beside him, “Just… _don’t._ ”

Sirius leaned forward, hand reaching out into empty air, “James, I mean it! I really saw him, I really saw-”

“Just stop!” James shouted, turning back to him, confliction written over his face.

James stood, debating walking right out the door.

Sirius sat up on the small bed, letting his legs hang off the edge as James had done before. He glanced down at the tile floor about to stand before seemingly thinking better of it and staying seated, clenching the stiff sheets under his hands.

“James. I wouldn't bring this up if I wasn't positive. You know this. I wouldn't put you through that again.” Sirius’ voice was quiet now and his eyes did not leave the marble tile.

Despite his will, James’ eyes stayed on the other man, his eyebrows further furrowing upon seeing the honesty and resignation on his face.

James knew that Sirius’ words were honest, at least in the other man's eyes, and yet he couldn't believe them. He couldn't let himself believe them. He couldn't let the hopelessness and pain grasp him once again as they always did when Harry was in his thoughts. He couldn't let the guilt eat him away until there was none of him left. _Again._

“Don't do this to me,” James begged, his voice barely audible.

Sirius looked up, a frown deeply set in his face.

“I'm not doing anything to you, Prongs. We need to discuss this, I found Harry .”

James shook his head in denial, “It's not him, Sirius. It was never him.”

James reached up under his glasses and rubbed harshly at his eyes, breathing deeply.

Sirius stood.

“It was him. It had to be. He had Lily's eyes. Harry’s eyes! His hair, his face, his nose, everything matched! And when I told him who I was, who he looked like, he got all.. defensive and ran off!” Sirius ranted, absentmindedly touching his forehead, “Not before cursing me a nasty one though.” He added.

James’ hands dropped.

“He cursed you?”

“He… yeah, he did.” Sirius mumbled

“Care to elaborate?” James asked after a moment's pause.

Sirius looked hesitant, “Like I said, I told him that he looked like Harry and he just flipped. Threw me the paralyzing curse before I could blink, told me that he's not who I thought and left.”

James crossed his arms, “He said that he's _not_ Harry.” He said slowly and clearly.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

“He was lying.” He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Why else would he react in such a way? I’ve had some time to think about this, Prongs, I’ve thought over everything and you know that I wouldn’t bring it up if I wasn't sure.” Sirius pleaded.

James began to pace, “You're certain that there is a real possibility?” He questioned.

“It has to be,” Sirius told him, dropping himself back onto the bed.

James chewed on his lip, “Lily cannot find out. I refuse to put her through this again.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius picked at a loose thread on the sheets, “You know she hates when things are kept from her.”

“It's necessary,” James told him before his next step faltered.

James turned to the sitting man, “Where did you say you found this kid again?”

“I didn’t..” Sirius replied, pressing his lips together.

James put two and two together.

“He was involved in the investigation? Are you _kidding_ me, Sirius?” James exclaimed, raking his hands through his hair.

Sirius shook his head violently, “He wasn’t involved okay? He just happened to be there when we busted the shop!”

“At the scene of a crime!” James shouted back, tired of the other man’s absurd way of thinking.

“Does it matter?” Sirius retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Yes!”

“It’s not important!” Sirius raised his voice, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation.

“The fact that the boy whom you say is Harry just so happens to be a suspect in our investigation who also cursed a ministry official is very important!” James exclaimed, “You know what? I can’t do this. This boy is at the very least a criminal, and we won’t be finding him for any reason other than for questioning.”

“But James!”

“This is _final,_ Sirius!” James told him, turning his back and stalking to the door, “And don't even think of leaving this hospital until you get a seal of approval from the healer!” He yelled behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

_“He is coming! The Dark Lord is in return! He will punish us all!_

 

Hadrian waded through the dirty streets of Knockturn Alley, his hood pulled up and his head down.

 

**_“_ ** _ No one will be spared from The Lord’s wrath, for he is almighty!” _

 

Hadrian scoffed at the fanatic’s words, if he didn’t know better he’d think that the man was preaching some sort of god. He sighed when the raggedy man startled at the noise he had made, his eyes bulging in Hadrian’s direction. The fanatic stumbled in Hadrian’s direction, mouth opening to reveal yellowed teeth, the cracked mouth gaping at him.

 

“ _ HE will not spare you either boy! He will cast ye down with a flash of green light!”  _ The haggard man shouted in Hadrian’s face, spittle flying wildly from his mouth.

 

Hadrian cringed and sidestepped the fanatic when he reached a hand out to grab him and continued walking a fast pace, hopefully leaving the man in the dust behind him.

 

_ “You WILL be punished!”   _ the man yelled after him.

 

“Hearing that was punishment enough..” Hadrian mumbled to himself, pushing past a large group of wizards.

 

Hadrian didn't like venturing into wizarding cities. They were auror infested and the people were much more likely to cause trouble, however, certain times called for it. Times such as now.

 

It was out of nowhere, another day of brewing and dealing per usual. Atticus was at his wits end with a particularly troublesome, low-life client who was trying to barter with the prices - claiming that it would put their business in good graces with one or another pompous pureblood house. Hadrian doubted that the man had ever even been in a pureblood’s presence and he certainly wouldn’t’ now, considering that he now lay dead surrounded by Aurors in their obliterated shop.

 

Hadrian had been in the back room absentmindedly dicing ingredients and humming to himself as he listened to Atticus argue with the customer out front when a loud bang erupted, shaking the entire building and Hadrian narrowly avoided cutting his finger off. He grabbed his wand and prepared to rush to help when Atticus and the other man burst through the door and rushed for cover.

 

“Down, Hadrian!” Atticus had shouted before forcing him under the table just in time for said door and the surrounding wall exploded with a flash of blue light.

 

Hadrian’s eyes clenched shut and he grasped onto Atticus’ sleeve as the man shielded him. The ground shook beneath him and he feared that the entire building would fall on them, but the shaking thankfully ceased and dust began to settle.

 

They were faced with no choice but to fight back and Atticus urged him to run at his first opportunity to escape. And run he did, distantly reminding him of being younger and running from bullies, or even worse, Dudley. He was thoughtless, panicked with the sound of footsteps and his tail and ran right into a dead end. He mentally berated himself for not paying attention, he knew the area well, yet he somehow managed to corner himself. 

 

And it just had to be  _ Sirius fucking Black.  _ His bad luck was outstanding really, the circumstance was the last thing he’d hope for he couldn’t help but feel like laughing. It felt like a bad joke, that the auror to be after him would be his godfather - one of the people he was hell-bent on staying away from.

 

And now here he was, post-escape from that bloody auror and making his way into a dingy rent-a-room that Atticus and he promised to meet in if things went south. He knew that there was no way that the man could arrive before him, yet his eyes darted around the sitting area regardless. His search was fruitless. He chose a table near the back for his wait, hoping to be discreet by keeping his eyes away from other patrons.

 

There he sat for what felt like hours, mind whirling with worry and uncertainty, he had convinced himself that Atticus was at best, arrested, and at worst, dead. He almost felt numb at the possibility and tried his best to not run right back to that shop and search for the man.

 

And then, who knows how long later, a chair pulled out across from him and the man of his worries quietly lowered himself within his eyesight.

 

_ “Atticus!” _

 

Hadrian resisted the urge to jump up and tackle the man, to reassure himself that he was real. The wizard smiled smugly as if he could read his thoughts.

 

“What’s got you looking so glum, sweetheart?” Atticus inquired, reaching to brush Hadrian’s hair away from his eyes.

 

Hadrian swatted his hand away and glared back.

 

“What the hell took you so long” 

 

Atticus leaned back and shrugged his shoulders.

 

“Oh I don’t know, perhaps fighting for my life held me up a tad,” He retorted jokingly.

 

Hadrian was not impressed.

 

“Get that smile off your face, we’ve been busted and all of our supply is in Ministry hands now,” Hadrian told him, wanting the other to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

 

Atticus pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit himself one before offering it to Hadrian.

 

“The ministry has nothing, doll.” The man told him.

 

“Care to elaborate?” Hadrian questioned, annoyed, over a puff of smoke.

 

“You don’t really think that I’d leave more evidence for those dolts to inspect do you?” Atticus raised a brow, “I left them with a nice little fire to put out.”

 

Hadrian sighed, partly with relief, and partly with exhaustion, and buried his face in his hands.

 

“Relax, Hadrian. We’ll wait out the next couple of weeks and it will all blow over, you know how Aurors are.” 

 

“I have a feeling that this won’t blow over so easily,” Hadrian muttered into his hands.

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“Sirius Black,” He mumbled back in response, voice muffled by his hands.

 

Atticus sighed in frustration.

 

“Sweetheart, you know I can’t hear you when you cover your mouth like that.”

 

Hadrian wiped his face and dropped his hands, having a long drag from his cigarette to calm himself.

 

_ “Sirius Black _ ,” He repeated himself.

 

He knew Atticus had heard him by his lack of reply.

 

“You’re sure?” Atticus asked after a moment

 

“Yes.”

 

“Did he..?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Atticus looked to the side in thought before turning back to him.

 

“This changes nothing. We wait until he’s off our backs and move on.”

 

Atticus was trying to sound sure of himself and convincing, but Hadrian was sure of nothing. He could only hope that his efforts to dissuade the Auror’s suspicion would be enough. 

 

_ It was not enough. _

  
  


“Charlus, sweetheart, elbows off the table. It's bad table etiquette” 

 

Lily scolded her son without much sincerity, simply happy to have him home for Christmas - as that is what it would always be to her, she could never quite acclimate with foreign wizarding traditions such as Yule. 

 

“Yeah Charlie, elbows off the table.” James scolded now, his voice filled with mirth, and a mischievous tilt lifting his lips.

 

“But, but…” The auburn headed boy stuttered indignantly, eyes searching to meet his mother's while gesturing wildly towards his father.

 

James struggled to keep a straight face as he rested his chin on to his palm

 

The red-headed woman smacked her husband on the back of the head as she set their dinner on the dining table, chuckling softly to herself at his shenanigans.

 

 “Elbows off the table James, and don't tease him to running back to Hogwarts before the term even starts.” She told him, taking her place beside him and serving herself.

 

James muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, “You're cooking would sooner run him off.’ but for the sake of her marriage, she chose to ignore the comment, though her son's answering giggle certainly didn't help. Passing the food to James, she examined her Charlus, searching for any sign of ill well, mentally cursing her worrywart nature.

 

“How is school, Charlie? Classes okay?” She questioned him, frowning as she remembered the new additions to his timetable, “I still wish you picked more useful electives, I certainly don’t see  _ divination  _ being very useful in the future.

 

Charlus groaned and averted his eyes from his mother’s piercing gaze.

 

“Mum, divination can be  _ very  _ useful okay?” Only silence and raised eyebrows answered him. He sighed in exasperation, ”Just the other day, Trelawney said that grave misfortune would befall Seamus - and guess what? We lost a mock match against Hufflepuff the very next day.”

 

Lily scoffed while James gasped.

 

The man lifted a hand to his chest with a scandalized expression painting his features. “How could you?” 

 

Charlus's face grew hot when he realized his mistake.

 

“It was a mock match! Okay? It doesn't even count!” He sputtered, his hands coming to rest heavily on the table before him.

 

James mirrored the action, slamming his hands on the table, the dishware clattering together from the force. 

 

“ _ Hufflepuff _ !”

 

“ _ It doesn’t count!”  _

 

_ “Boys!”  _ Lily raised her voice, leaving the two leaning back into their seats, lowering their eyes timidly.

 

‘Sorry” They echoed, proceeding to fill their plates.

 

Lily sighed in exasperation, smiling fondly at the two and softly shaking her head.

 

 They ate in silence for the next few minutes, occasionally picking up casual conversation with each other.

 

“So, darling, how did work go today? It must have been a bit lonely with Sirius still out of commission.”

 

James didn’t meet her eyes.

 

“It was boring, mostly. No new leads or anything.” He told her, pushing his food around his plate with his fork.

 

Lily hummed and nodded. He was lying to her, that much was obvious, but why? If it was something classified he would tell her so and she would drop the subject. She couldn’t imagine what would bring him to lie to her.

 

“Not even anything about that black market business?” She added, watching his face carefully.

 

James’ face twitched and he stuffed a large forkful into his mouth, shaking his head.

 

“Dead end.” He answered briefly through his food.

 

Outwardly she nodded understandingly but inwardly she cursed him for being a liar. She knew that she should just let it go and wait for him to tell her what he was so adamant about keeping secret, but her curiosity always gets the best of her.

 

“Well, I hope something turns up, the person responsible for putting such deadly potions out into the world should face the consequences. People can be so wicked, can’t they?” Lily commented 

 

“That they can,” James muttered. “Hm, Snivellus is quite the potions master now, isn’t he? Maybe I should stop by Hogwarts tomorrow.” James mocked, absent-mindedly toying with his fork.

 

Charlus snorted.

 

“James!” 

 

Said man shook out of his stupor, meeting his wife’s upset eyes.

 

“Sweetheart, it’s just a joke.” He told her, chuckling softly to himself and shaking his head.

 

Lily rose from her seat, causing her chair to screech loudly against the hardwood floor.

 

“I won’t have you bad-mouthing him, all these years of rivalry despite the fact that he has done absolutely nothing to you! Grow up, James!” She spits out, turning away and storming out of the dining room.

 

“Lily!” He called after her

 

Charlus clicked his tongue and shook his head.

 

“Shame on you.” The boy remarked condescendingly.

 

Just as James jumped from his seat to go after her to apologize, Sirius arrived at the doorway distractedly looking behind him.

 

“Hey, what’s the deal with Sunflower over there?” He questioned

 

James’ eyebrows furrowed and he moved to push his chair in.

 

“What are you doing here, Uncle Siri?” Charlus asked curiously.

 

Sirius looked back at him and seemed to remember something, his body language becoming urgent.

 

“Oh! James, We need to go. Now.” He told him, turning on his heel and out the door before said man could object.

 

“Clean up, would you, Charlie?” James requested hurrying after the other man.

 

By the time James caught up they were out the door and apparating to a dark, rain-slicked street.

 

“Sirius, we agreed we’d lay off tonight so I could spend some time with Lily and Charlus.” James protested, pulling the other’s shoulder back so he would stop.

 

“Do you not want to find him?” Sirius demanded, shrugging the hand off his shoulder.

 

James’ jaw clenched.

 

“You know that I do.” 

 

Sirius sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

 

“Look, I know that we’ve been non-stop the last couple of days -”

 

“Weeks.” James corrected.

 

“- Okay, weeks. But I feel like the longer we wait, the less likely it is that we’ll find something.” Sirius explained

 

James shifted, and he glanced around him, belatedly wondering where exactly he side-apparated to.

 

“I know, I feel that way too.” He admitted, “But all of the lying needs to stop - Lily thinks that you’re still recovering for Merlin’s sake.” He exclaimed, the guilt weighing on his chest.

 

“You’re the one that refused to tell her.” Sirius reminded him, unsympathetic to his dilemma.

 

James looked down guiltily at the reminder.

 

“I know, I know. I just want to get this over with already, is all.” He explained, his voice lowered from his panicked rambling.

 

There was a moment of silence between them.

 

“Listen, I got a local talking, apparently someone matching Harry’s description visits this pub pretty often. I thought it would be worth checking out.” Sirius explained, tone exasperated as he gestured to the building across from them.

 

James glanced at it, its flickering sign casting a flashing reflection on the rainy street. He frowned.

 

“What would he be doing in there?”

 

Sirius raised a challenging eyebrow.

 

“Let’s find out.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Hm. Back at it again are ya, Hadrian?”  A tall, scruffy-faced man said from his bar as the familiar figure of his favorite customer shut the squeaky door of the entrance behind him.

 

Said customer's lips lifted indulgently, 

 

“Of course, what else would I do with my time?”

 

The customer - Hadrian - made his way to the bar and sat on a rickety stool.

 

“I dunno. Maybe get a job, go to school like a normal kid.” The bartender replied, absentmindedly rubbing a cloth down the length of the bar.

 

 “I have a job. Or… had, as of last week,” the boy frowned in thought.

 

The other grinned crookedly, “What, did that private dealer finally get rid of ya? I'm surprised that he's kept you around what with how unreliable ye are.” he chuckled.

 

“Ha ha,” Hadrian mock laughed, “his shop was busted, so he's in hiding and I'm out of work.” 

 

The boy rested his cheek against his palm, his emerald eyes watched steadily as the man poured him his usual without prompt.

 

“Well, Dan over at Fergusons is looking for someone to do some scrap work at the factory. Certainly not your forte, but money is money right?” The bartender commented, sliding the glass towards the customer. “It would get you out of my hair for awhile at least. I dread the day that a man in blue sees me serving an underage boy.”

 

Said underage boy chuckled quietly, running his thumb up a droplet of condensation dripping down his glass, “As if any form of law enforcement would step a foot in this place.” Hadrian shook his head, “Or even in this neighborhood for that matter.”

 

John pointed accusingly towards him, “Hey, all I'm saying is that it's my ass on the line here if pigs decide to fly.”

 

“I could pass for 18,” Hadrian said, sipping the bitter beverage.

 

He received an unimpressed look.

 

“No, you can't, short stuff. Not with those big, round eyes.”

 

The boy rolled said eyes.

 

“Then I will just seduce them into making themselves believe that I am of age.”

 

“Slag.”

 

“Accurate.”

 

The two shared an amused smile.

 

“Oi! Another!” A trashed looking man demanded from a booth on their left, smashing his mug on the floor.

 

John turned back to him with hopeful eyes, “Say.. would yo-” he started before being cut off.

 

“No.” The boy told him, moving his eyes away from the scene.

 

The man's eyes were wide and his eyebrows grew furrowed, “but-”

 

Hadrian shook his head, “Last time I helped you with one of those fuck-tards I got a shiner that lasted for weeks. No thank you.” He told him, resisting the urge to smile at the man's misery.

 

The bartender's body sagged, “C'mon you got all those freaky tricks and stuff, my muscles ain't that big.” He begged.

 

Hadrian's smile dropped and the man worried about what he said to offend him. He threw an apologetic smile his way and left to take care of the drunkard himself. The dark-haired boy sat in silence, his legs dangling loosely off his seat and his slender fingers closed tight around his glass. 

 

Hadrian knew that he shouldn’t be so sensitive to a single word, yet it was almost a natural reaction to tense up when he heard it.  _ Freak. _

 

His thoughts drifted to a certain Auror, not for the first time this week. He shouldn’t dwell on the man, but seeing him in person dragged up old thoughts and feelings. Thoughts of his “family” and when thinking of them didn’t bring him just anger. Faint memories of a man with squared glasses, a woman with fiery red hair, and man with scruffy brown hair...

 

He shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind and tilted the remaining liquid down his throat, restricting himself to set the glass down with minimal force. 

 

It was no good to linger on such things. That man was someone from his past and that’s all he was, someone who held no relevance today or tomorrow. He wouldn't let it become something more, despite the curiosity that burned insatiably in the back of his mind. He had more important things to deal with.

 

He froze.

 

He felt them before he heard or saw them. Two blips of unordinary in a sea of ordinary. It was faint, but he’d mingled with enough wizards and muggles to grow a good sense for them. He could feel them, a presence that had goosebumps urging to rise on his skin and quiet buzzing sound out in his ears. He inwardly pushed past the raising voice of the drunken man and the patient one of John in an attempt to get a better feel for them. Before he had enough time to focus, he heard that familiar door squeak open behind him.

 

Hadrian watched as the eyes of the few other customers flew behind him and narrowed before turning away. The cheery, inebriated chatting that filled the bar quickly quieted down to hushed mumbles.  _ Outsiders. _

 

He glanced to his left to see John still arguing with the drunk, blatantly ignoring the new patron. Hadrian’s eyes darted ahead when he saw two figures sit to his left from his peripheral.

 

“Never been in this part of town, what’s the local favorite?”

 

Hadrian recognized the voice and was not surprised in the slightest. He turned to examine them. Of course, Sirius Black sat closest to him, looking just as haggard as the last that he saw him if not worse as he gestured to the shelves of booze, and… beside him sat a man with square-framed glasses. He was hazel-eyed behind the gawky things, his hair shaggy and wild. A wide jaw and thick eyebrows accompanied his appearance, and Hadrian imagined him to be in his early thirties, if not younger. And unfortunately, Hadrian recognized him, the man seemed to do the same as his eyes widened in apparent disbelief once getting a clear view of him.

 

_ Great _ .  _ Fucking fan-tastic. _

 

“It seems that you are incapable of listening,” Hadrian commented in a casual tone, forcing himself to remain unaffected.

 

Just as Black opened his mouth to return a, no doubt, snarky reply, his companion found it a good time to voice his apparent shock.

 

“H-Harry?” He stumbled over the name, his mouth returning to its gaped expression.

 

Hadrian’s lips flattened into a thin line, “Hadrian, actually.” he corrected.

 

The two of them jumped in their seats at a loud bang. Hadrian turned around to see the door behind them held open to its extent under John’s clenched fist, its handle having created a deeper dent in the wall behind it.

 

“Get the fuck out before I blow that empty skull out!” The bartender barked at the now nervous-looking man who cowarded near the wall.

 

The boy couldn’t help but snort at the man’s theatrics, he knew for a fact that his pistol was safely locked away under the bar. Hadrian could count the times it had been used on one hand.

 

 Turning back to the two beside him he watched in amusement as their eyes nervously shifted from the scene and back to him repeatedly.

 

“It’s not safe here.” Black murmured under his breath.

 

Hadrian laughed, absentmindedly hearing the door shut back closed behind him.

 

 “Are you scared?” he egged on.

 

Black’s eyebrows furrowed indignantly, “No! I just-”

 

“Is it really you?” The four-eyed man pressed, oblivious - or uncaring - of Black’s irritation at being interrupted again.

 

“Is it really who?” Hadrian countered, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

 

Four Eyes leaned forward, eyes searching.

 

 “Harry, Hadrian, my son.” His voice had an edge of desperation that made Hadrian uncomfortable.

 

“Hmm,” The boy looked away, eyes following John’s form returning behind the bar, “I really couldn’t be sure.” He paused tilting his head, “I don’t remember much of my childhood… Oh! I know! Were you the one who ditched me on a doorstep at three years old?” Hadrian implored, eyes flitting between the two, feigning innocence.

 

The two of them froze in disbelief, any doubt of his identity fleeing at his words. Black sat in shock and glasses blinked rapidly. Hadrian inwardly winced, he probably shouldn't have done that. 

 

“It really is you. Harry.” Black rushed out, his voice shaky as he raised his hand over his mouth.

 

He  _ really  _ shouldn’t have done that.

 

“Hadrian” He corrected his voice hard in annoyance.

 

Did they really have to keep calling him that horrid name?

 

“We-We know. I, um, I actually picked out your name you know. Lily wanted something more simple, something muggle I suppose. But I said that you needed something grander - something more fitting to the Potter heir.” Glasses spouted, a nervous babbler, Hadrian deducted, “Harry’s actually a nickname, it’s all we ever called you… before. Lily picked that one out, suppose she got her way in the end...” He trailed off, seeming to finally gain bearing on himself, lowering his eyes awkwardly.

 

Hadrian shut his eyes. He needed another drink if he was to deal with this.

 

“Three more John,” he demanded, sliding off his stool.

 

He turned and made his way to the back corner of the building, sliding into the furthest booth. He folded his hands over each other on the tabletop and watched patiently as the two scuttled after him, pushing themselves into the seat across from him.

 

They surveyed each other quietly for one moment, two, before Hadrian glanced down and shook his head. He breathed out as steady as he could manage and reached into his pocket, pulling out a slim, tan box. Hadrian pushed the top up with his thumb before pulling out a single, round stick.

 

“Smoke?” He questioned as he placed it between his lips, silently cheering when he managed to prevent his hands from shaking.

 

The men seemed to be in a constant state of disbelief, and Hadrian was fighting between panic and amusement. Must be poor genes.

 

“Aren't you a bit young to be smoking?” Four-eyes inquired, his thick eyebrows furrowed.

 

“Aren't you a bit old to be accosting young boys in bars?” Hadrian retorted without a moment's pause.

 

The messy-haired man was rendered speechless and his companion snorted ungracefully.

 

In what Hadrian considered wonderful timing, John arrived at their table, depositing a glass in front of each of them and a small matchbox near Hadrian's.

 

“Let me know if these persons give ya trouble, yes?” John told him, eying the two across Hadrian with a mean look in his eye.

 

“Yes, John.” Hadrian complied, lips twitching at the man’s attempt to intimidate them.

 

John retreated and Hadrian pulled a match from its place inside the box, ripping the cheap material away without a struggle. He swiftly flicked the tip against the front of the box thrice then lifted it to the end of his smoke - cupping his other hand around it to block the draft.

 

“Are you… okay?” 

 

“I can't believe it's you.”

 

The two men spoke simultaneously.

 

Hadrian shook out the match and dropped it onto the table when the tip of the cig flared successfully. He eyed the two of them silently.

 

“I am… lovely. Or was, that is, until you left me jobless due to your rude visit to the shop.” He replied, leaning back into the worn cushions, finding comfort in the squeaking of the leather.

 

Sirius scoffed.

 

“Shop? Don't you mean illegal potions den? Don't tell me you actually worked there, doing what?” He interrogated

 

“Prostitution, of course. How else do you think we get so many loyal buyers?” The boy told him in a condescending tone, breathing in deeply before pulling the stick from his lips with his fore and middle fingers.

 

They practically gasped in shock and Hadrian internally laughed.

 

“So gullible,” Hadrian commented, flicking ash onto the bare table.

 

Their shoulders loosened, if only slightly, and they let out short, relieved chuckles in response.

 

“You got us there,” Four-eyes admitted, glancing down and considering the amber liquid in his glass before thinking better of it nudging it away.

 

Sirius, however, swigged it sparingly in hopes to ease his nerves, “We've been looking for you for years. I-I don't even know what to say, we've just missed you so much, Harry. More than you can even comprehend.” He told him, gripping the wooden table under his hands.

 

“For the last fucking time, my name is Hadrian. And more than I can comprehend? Are you insulting my intelligence now as well?” Hadrian threw back, uncaring of the man's sentiment.

 

The auror’s mouth gaped.

 

“Watch your tone, Hadrian, you know he didn't mean it like that. We're just shocked that you're even alive is all.” The wild-haired man scolded him, making his eyebrows furrow, unimpressed.

 

Hadrian rolled his eyes as he rested his left arm against the top of the cushions behind him, hot ash now falling onto what Hadrian doubted was real leather.

 

“Can we get whatever this,” He gestured to the two of them with his free hand, “is over with already? You found me, you… met me, and I happen to have a very empty schedule that needs tending to. So could you just..” Hadrian nodded towards the exit and made a shoo-ing motion with his right hand, raising his cigarette back to his lips with the other for another puff.

 

“We're not leaving!” The two shouted in unison

 

“Why the fuck not?” Hadrian internally groaned, he had hoped that they would be more reasonable.

 

“Because I have to take you home! To your mother and your brother, your family!” Glasses’ voice was strained, “And… watch your language!” He added after a moment's thought.

 

Hadrian's eyebrows raised in amusement.

 

 “You want to take me home? To my family?” He questioned incredulously, “My home is a ghetto little apartment off Main Street, and my family?” he paused, blowing out a cloud of smoke, “My family is certainly not some woman who abandoned me before I could read nor a man whom has not yet told me his fucking name. Understand?” 

 

The two Aurors flinched back at his words and looked at him with something similar to remorse in their eyes. But to Hadrian, it looked an awful lot like pity. He hated being pitied.

 

“My name is James Potter.” The messy-haired man spoke quietly, unable to meet Hadrian's eyes.

 

Hadrian, of course, already knew this from his occasional browsing of the Daily Prophet which they headlined every other week.

 

“I don't give a fuck what your name is.” The green-eyed boy snapped, leaning forward to lift his untouched glass to his lips and swallow the contents loudly. 

 

James eyed his drink with distant disapproval.

 

“We're sorry. We know how this must seem to you, but we searched and searched for years for you. We wouldn't expect you to just pick up your life and come home like nothing happened, but we want to be a part of your life. We are family.” James tried to explain, attempting to grasp a hold on the situation.

 

Hadrian eyed him, “We are blood, not family.” He corrected, dragging his forefinger around the rim of his glass, “And you,” he tilted his head towards Sirius, “You’re not blood nor family, so, what exactly is your purpose here?” He asked, his voice patronizing.

 

“We may not be related by blood but you _are_ _my_ family. I rocked you to sleep and changed your diapers, I gave you every bit of love in my heart. Let us be your family.” Sirius pleaded, crossing his fingers over each other as they rest on the table, breathing deeply, pushing the pain he felt from the boy's words to the back of his mind.

 

“Hmm..” The boy pretended to consider it and watched as their faces shifted with hope, “Nope,” only to drop at that single word.

 

“What must we do to at least have some place in your life?” Sirius’ voice took a desperate note

 

Hadrian thought about it for a moment.

 

“Get on your knees and beg for absolution.” The green-eyed boy suggested, having one last draw from his smoke before stumping it out onto the scratched wood.

 

The two blankly gaped for several seconds before sharing a determined look between each other and just when they began to slide out from their seats Hadrian couldn’t help but let a delighted giggle escape him. How tenacious.

 

“A joke, you’re pleading is of no use to me.” He told them, leaning his chin on his palm lazily.

 

They now shared looks ranging from embarrassment to annoyance

 

“What do you want?” James demanded, raking a hand through his hair, almost getting it caught in the process.

 

Meanwhile, Sirius muttered a barely audible, “This one’s a Slytherin, that’s for fucking sure.” under his breath.

 

The boy’s eyes practically glowed in anticipation.

 

“I want many things.” Hadrian’s lips curved into a sly smile as he continued dragging the tip of his finger along the glass rim.

 

“We’ll give you anything!” James exclaimed,

 

“... within reason, of course.” Sirius added just to be safe.

 

“Well,” The raven-haired boy leaned forward, “I’m sure that as heads of ancient… morally dubious,” his eyes flickered to Sirius, “families, between the two of you there are sure to be some very old, uncommon tomes in those rusty vaults of yours.”

 

There was a short silence.

 

“You want books?” Was the disbelieving shout from James, while Sirius simply sat in shock and… disappointment.

 

“You’re what? Fifteen? Don’t you want a yacht? Private meet and greet with the Chudley Cannons? Fucking hell, I take it back James. This bloke has gotta be a Ravenclaw, Lily will have a field day with this.” Sirius ranted.

 

Hadrian didn’t seem too entertained by his words, simply waiting patiently while shifting his chin to his other hand when his palm grew sore. Once Sirius came to a stop the boy continued.

 

“I didn’t say that I was done.”

 

Another silence.

 

“Okay, you want books we can do that, besides the ones from Sirius’ vault. The Blacks don’t have anything remotely good in there.” James told him, shifting uncomfortably when those green eyes pierced his.

 

They both ignored Sirius’ outcry of, “Hey!”

 

“I want any books of my choice from either, this is non-negotiable,” he told him in a no-nonsense tone.

 

James looked ready to protest.

 

“Just let him have the books, Prongs. It’s not a big deal.” Sirius rolled his eyes

 

“Fine!” James compiled, “But you will be living at Potter Manor at least until you reach maturity.” He tried to compromise.

 

Hadrian snorted out loud, “No,” he shook his head, “just… no. Not happening even in my most traumatizing nightmares.”

 

“You don't really expect us to just leave you to go on your own after everything do you? You are legally, and morally my responsibility.” James argued

 

“Where was your responsibility when I was ditched curbside of an orphanage as a toddler hm?”

 

“They left you in a gutter?”

 

“What else would they do with a worthless freak?” The boy's voice remained level, his tone casual - as if speaking about the weather.

 

“I… I'm so sorry Hadrian. If I could go back and change our choices I would. I would never trust you with the Dursleys, I never thought that they would... I can't imagine what you've been through without us, but I want to make up for our mistakes. I want to give you the life you should have had. Please just let me.” James pleaded, his voice growing shaky and his eyes wet.

 

Hadrian's face twisted, “I don't want nor need your help, and I'm also not interested in easing your conscience from your mistakes. I refuse to live in the same house as you, the fact that I am speaking to you right now is pushing it.” 

 

“Please, Hadrian, just consider it. No need to be so hasty.” Sirius told him, glancing worriedly at his friend when he began to wipe his eyes.

 

Hadrian's eyes flickered between the two and his lips tilted up.

 

“Okay, I'll live with you then, Sirius.” He decided, glancing down at his nails.

 

Their eyes shot up and James looked at his friend with pain in his eyes.

 

“W-wait!”, Sirius stuck out his hands, “I-I’m not even your  _ real  _ family ‘godfather’ is just a fancy title,” he attempted to repair the situation.

 

Said boy cocked his head, “No? That's not what you told me before. What happened to, ‘We may not be blood but we are family’?” he mimicked, overly deepening his voice to match the other man's.

 

“I didn't mean it that way! James is your father okay?” Sirius struggled to repair the situation.

 

“Perhaps these decisions can be made later, I'm sure that you need some time to consider your options,” James suggested, dragging his glass back towards himself and downing the contents.

 

“I don't. Why don't we get back to my wants, hm?” Hadrian suggested, his voice taking a bored note.

 

They nodded sullenly, and the green-eyed boy was distantly reminded of pouting puppies.

 

“I want you to drop the case on Atticus and myself.”

 

“No. Absolutely not.” James shot back as soon as he processed the boy's words.

 

Sirius’ mouth opened slightly and his eyes darted between the two.

 

Hadrian breathed out heavily, “Then, I suppose I'll just have to pick up and hide myself across the globe where you will never find me… a real shame. I was hoping that we could form a heart touching familial relationship.” His voice was solemn and his eyelashes fluttered dramatically.

 

Sirius swallowed heavily and resisted the urge to fall for the raven-haired boy’s manipulation.

 

“Why are you like this?” James’ voice was quiet and disappointed, his eyes searching for an answer in the boy across from him.

 

Hadrian smiled crookedly, “Oh, I don't know. Maybe being left by my family at a tender age did a bit of damage, maybe it was the insults and beatings bestowed upon me by whom they left me with. Ooh! Or maybe it was-” 

 

“Stop! Just stop, okay? I'm sorry! We were trying to protect you, if I had known what would happen then I would never have left your side. I thought we were making the right decision, there were death eaters on our tail and the press breathing down our necks!” The wild-haired man shouted, uncaring of the eyes around the bar that shot to him.

 

James’ breath was harsh and his hands were clenched around the edge of the table meanwhile Sirius winced as he avoided looking at the two.

 

Hadrian remained unaffected throughout James' words, merely smiling calmly in hopes to annoy the man.

 

 “Someone’s testy.” he commented, meeting the other’s eyes and only smiling wider when the fury within them grew.

 

James remained silent this time, clenching his jaw painfully and his throat flushed as he averted his eyes from the green-eyed boy.

 

An awkward silence rang between the three

 

“Well!” Hadrian exclaimed as he pushed himself up and out of the booth, “I really must get going, It truly was not a pleasure meeting either of you.” 

 

The two seated tensed up.

 

“You can't leave!” Sirius shouted, his hands tensely rested on the tabletop, ready to push himself out of the booth at any given moment.

 

The boy cocked his head.

 

 “Oh, can’t I?”

 

“No, we're not done talking,” James told him firmly.

 

Hadrian scoffed and turned to leave

 

“Wait!” Sirius stood, “You leave and we’ll just follow! Anywhere! Even if you do cross the world, we will be right behind you! We won’t give up!”

 

The boy turned back to them reluctantly, “Must you be so persistent?” he asked, his lips downturned.

 

Sirius’ face grew a slight smile, “Can we at least… see you tomorrow? We can work on a suitable agreement.” He asked

 

Hadrian's eyes flickered between Sirius’ hopeful face and James’ lost one. 

 

“Fine.” He told them, “Do either of you have a pen?”

 

James patted at his coat pockets then handed him a round, ebony-colored object

 

“Portable quill.” The man elaborated when Hadrian popped off the lid to see a triangular, pointed tip.

 

“Give me your arm.” He demanded, leaning over the table in James’ direction.

 

Despite the wary look on his face, James reached out his left arm.

 

Turning James’ wrist upwards, Hadrian pushed the man's sleeve to his elbow and brought the tip of the pen to the unmarked skin.

 

Hadrian saw Sirius wince out of the corner of his eye when he began writing out an address with no semblance of caution. He inwardly smiled when he saw James’ face twist up out of his peripheral when he pushed down particularly hard.

 

Under the address, Hadrian wrote out in clear, bold lettering -

 

**_9:00 am_ **

 

-dropping the pen on the table, Hadrian paid no mind to it when it rolled onto the floor.

 

 “Tomorrow morning.” He told them, and without another pause, he turned and strode out of the building, leaving them staring after him with lost looks in their eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_ “Where the fuck did it all go wrong Padfoot?” _

 

James breathed out heavily, rubbing his eyes harshly as he leaned over his kitchen table.

 

The two of them had just made it back to his Manor, an oppressing silence had lingered over them since they had left that piece of shit bar - no -before that. It had lingered since Hadrian had left them there - off to do Merlin knows what.

 

Lily wasn't present, she was in their bathroom bathing as she usually did at this time he guessed. Peaceful and ignorant to the absolute disaster that he had found in the form of their son. Their long-lost, beloved fucking son. What a rollercoaster his life had become.

 

He lifted his head to stare up at Sirius’ form. His friend's back was turned to him as he stared out the window to Lily's night-blackened garden. He wondered what could be going through the man's mind, Hadrian was a son to him too. Even though Sirius thought that he didn't, James did know how the man had felt for Harry - Hadrian. He saw the boy as just as much of a son as James himself did, he couldn't help himself and James accepted that. Encouraged it if anything. 

 

“Probably the day you were born.” 

 

“Fuck off.” James grinned despite himself and leaned his forehead on his palms.

 

“Probably for the best that Charlus went to bed early, who knows what he'll do when he finds out that his brother is alive.” Sirius' commented, his footsteps and the screeching of a chair rumbling in James' ears as well as the heavy thump of the man's body dropping on it.

 

“Who knows what  _ Lily  _ will do when she finds out that we didn't tell her.” James corrected, his mind playing over different scenarios, all of which he's painfully and brutally murdered by her.

 

“When she finds out that  _ you  _ didn't tell her, you're the husband and I wanted to tell her - you told me no.” Sirius said to him, his foot tapping anxiously under the table

 

“Doesn't matter,” James shook his head awkwardly due to his position, “She'll kill you too.”

 

They sat quietly.

 

“What  _ happened  _ to him?” The words escaped James without permission after a few moments of contemplation.

 

“Oh, I don't know, he was left by his family without explanation as a toddler for one,” Sirius said, his eyes meeting James as soon as his head snapped up - the man's glasses sitting askew in result.

 

“We did explain to him.” James defended, pushing the glasses back in place.

 

Sirius raised his eyebrows, “You explained to  _ a three-year-old.” _

 

James’ mouth twisted and his eyebrows furrowed, “Death Eaters were after us in hopes to avenge their Lord! What the fuck else were we supposed to do? You knew the plan! We left them to keep them safe, and it worked!” His voice was rapidly rising.

 

Sirius scoffed in response, “ _Safe_?” a bitter laugh escaped him, “Does it _look_ like Harry has been _fucking_ _safe_?” 

 

“It  _ looks  _ like he's  _ alive!” _ James shouted back, slamming his hands on the table.

 

“You left him with those horrid _ muggles!  _ You left Charlus with Dumbledore! The strongest fucking wizard alive!” Sirius’ face was screwed up in anger, his body tense and ready for a fight.

 

Silence rang between them.

 

“You think that I-... That I would.. favor..” James' voice was strained and low as he struggled for words.

 

Sirius’ face softened and his mouth gaped.

 

“I didn't mean it, I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated.” Sirius forced out the words, averting his eyes.

 

“I loved him just as much as Charlus.” James told him in a firm voice.

 

Sirius glanced back up, “Past tense?” He questioned.

 

It was James’ eyes who left this time, “I… I don't know him anymore. Hell if he told me that it was all a lie, that he's not my son, I might actually believe him”

 

“Sounds like something he'd pull just to get us off his back.” Sirius chuckled softly.

 

“I don't blame him. His family has been absent his whole life and now we're just suddenly there? I'd be pissed off too, I wouldn't give my parents the time of day.” James shook his head and scoffed, “Hell I  _ would  _ cross the world just to get them off my back.” he admitted.

 

Sirius frowned, “Regardless, Hadrian  _ is  _ our Harry. He’s grown up without us, experienced things that we’re unaware of. He’s lived his own life without us all these years but that doesn’t mean that he’s not your son anymore Prongs.” Sirius told him, “We just have to get to know him all over again.” he stated, his voice clear and determined.

 

“Get to know who again?”

 

Lily’s voice interrupted from the doorway, her head cocked at the sight of Sirius, “Too many drinks again Siri?” she questioned, a fond smile playing on her lips.

 

The two jumped in their seats, glancing between each other nervously, neither wanting to be the one who spoke up.

 

Lily crossed her arms over her bathrobe, her eyebrows furrowing in response to their reactions, “Well, what is it?”

 

James jumped in his seat, “W-What?’ he asked, turning his body fully towards her but refusing to meet her eyes.

 

Sirius’ eyes just flickered repeatedly between them, his face resembling a deer caught in headlights.

 

“What did you do?” she interrogated, pinning the men with her stare and tapping her foot impatiently.

 

James’ eyes shot to Sirius, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

 

‘Uh.. uhh… nothing?” he helpfully answered, a hopeful look appearing in his eyes.

 

James gave him a quick  _ 'What the fuck?’,  _ look in response before looking back to his wife with what he hoped was an innocent look on his face.

 

The red-head turned to her husband, “It seems that Sirius is incapable of honesty, I do expect more from you,  _ sweetheart. _ ” She put emphasis on the endearment, though her tone was more threatening than anything.

 

“Um. Maybe you'd like to sit? I'll make you a cup of tea.” James abruptly sprang from his seat and rushed behind the counter, quickly pulling things from the cupboards in search.

 

Sirius jumped up from his seat as well, making for the doorway which Lily moved to block, “I should probably get going y’know, early morning tomorrow and whatnot.” He defended, keeping his eyes anywhere but on the angry-looking woman.

 

“If you think that you are leaving this room before I am told  _ exactly _ what is going on, you are dead wrong.” Lily told him, raising an eyebrow in challenge, “James, sit down!” she barked when his loud fumbling became too loud for her to bear.

 

James froze, his eyes flickering between his wife, his friend, and the appealing looking door to the garden. Whoever said that running from your problems was a bad idea? In his eyes, it seemed to be the safest option.

 

“Don’t. You. Dare.” Lily demanded, seeing the idea form on the man’s face.

 

He winced and slowly walked back to the kitchen table, sitting back in his seat with a loud thud.

 

“You too, Sirius.” The red-headed woman told the frightened-looking man before her.

 

He too took his place beside James, his eyes downcast. 

 

Once Lily was sure that no escapes were being planned, she sat across from the two raising her eyebrows in question.

 

“Well? Out with it.”

 

James shifted uncomfortably, “Lilypad, my love. This will be very… shocking to you, and I  _ wanted  _ to tell you sooner but… I had to be sure that it was true.” he struggled to explain

 

Lily frowned in worry at the serious note in her husband’s voice, ”Whatever it is, I can take it. Just tell me, James.” she demanded, her fingers curling around each other.

 

The room became silent for a long moment, the dripping of the leaky faucet echoing loudly in their ears.

 

_ “WefoundHarry!”  _ James blurted out without thought, the pressure becoming too much for him.

 

Lily inhaled sharply, her eyes flickering between the two men’s faces for a sign that she had heard right.

 

 “Repeat that. Slowly,” she ordered.

 

“We found Hadrian,” Sirius told her this time

 

Lily's face was the picture of disbelief, her eyebrows furrowed, her mouth gaped. Her eyes were hopeful. 

 

“Sirius found him in a muggle city down south, he told me and the two of us spoke to him to be sure that he was our Harry,” James explained, his voice soft.

 

“He was,” Sirius added

 

Lily's wet eyes flickered between them, “James, if this is some prank or.-”

 

It's not! Lily it's not, we found him. You know that I wouldn’t joke about this.” The messy-haired man interrupted, seeming to reassure himself as well.

 

Lily was silent and the wetness in her eyes began to overflow. She shut them and shook her head disbelievingly, her lip wobbling. 

 

“How can this be?” She paused and attempted to clear her aching throat, “I thought - I-I had always  _ hoped, _ but I  _ thought _ he had to be gone. Are you sure that who you spoke to was him?” she questioned, her voice shaky despite her will.

 

James reached forward and forcefully unclenched her fingers, entangling theirs together 

 

“It was him, Lily Pad. I'm sure of it.” He told her firmly.

 

Her eyes flickered to Sirius who only nodded reassuringly. 

 

“W-Where is he then? Is he..?” Lily gestured behind her towards the rest of the manor

 

The two shook their heads, “He left after we spoke, we couldn't convince him to come home.” Sirius paused to take a breath, overwhelmed with the situation.

 

James hurried to continue when Lily's face dropped, “but he agreed to meet us to talk more tomorrow morning, he gave us an address.” he turned his wrist to face her, the black ink still marring his skin.

 

Lily latched onto her husband's wrist, tracing the black lettering longingly, “He has lovely handwriting..” she mumbled before processing when her husband said. “Tomorrow morning?” She exclaimed, one of her hands hovering over her lips.

 

“Nine a.m.” Sirius confirmed, leaning back in his seat.

 

“I'm seeing my son in the morning.” The red-headed woman said to herself in shock, salty tears staining her cheeks. “My sweet little Harry..” Lily murmured.

 

“Wouldn't call him that though.” Sirius snorted, absentmindedly thumbing a chip in the table.

 

James breathed sharply out his nose, a noise that sounded distantly like a laugh.

 

 “What, sweet or Harry?” he joked

 

Lily’s eyes shot up in question.

 

“He’s… not the most pleasant person if we’re being honest.” Sirius explained, hoping to spare the negative details.

 

“And he hates being called ‘Harry’ for some reason, prefers Hadrian,” James added to clear any confusion.

 

Lily frowned, “What do you mean he’s not the most pleasant person?” she questioned

 

“It seems… that he’s understandably unhappy with our sudden presence in his life.” James told her, choosing his words carefully,” I’m sure that he just needs some time to get to know us before he warms up.” 

 

Lily was silent for a few moments, the realization that her little boy had lived a life full of who knows what without her there to protect him just settling in. The thought that he likely has not even a memory of her made her heart ache and her throat burn.

 

“Of course he’s not happy with us. He doesn’t even know us!” Lily’s voice raised by accident, she took a shaky breath before continuing, “All we are to him is absent parents that he probably has no recollection of. H-He probably hates us..” she sobbed softly into her palm, struggling to hold back her tears.

 

“Lily, my sweet Lily Pad, we will get through this. He may not be happy with us right now, but once he understands how much we have missed and love him Hadrian will forgive us. I know it.” James consoled, rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

 

She quietly pulled herself together for the next minute, sniffling softly she froze and gripped her husband’s hand tightly. Sirius’ eyes widened when James flinched.

 

“The two of you met with my Harry without even informing me that he was alive!” Lily’s voice echoed off the walls, her usually kind eyes narrowed in rage.

  
  


“The fuck?” 

 

Hadrian's voice, deep with sleep, rumbled throughout his otherwise silent room - scratch that -  _ previously  _ silent room. Another quick succession of knocks echoed into his bedroom.

 

Hadrian groaned in complaint and forced himself out of his sweet, sweet, bed. Stumbling out of his bedroom and into his kitchen he squinted at the sight of a rugged man sitting at the counter, slurping on a bowl of chocolatey cereal.

 

“You couldn't answer the fucking door?” The green-eyed boy complained, stomping past the man and through the short hallway to his front door.

 

Hadrian's chest tightened in annoyance when that damned knocking began again, visibly shaking his door from the force. Whomever was on the other side of that fucking door…

 

The sound ceased when he finally heaved open the door, the pressure in his head relieving marginally in effect. Momentarily blinded by the morning light, he opened his mouth to bitch out whoever decided to awake him at God knows what time in the morning with that loud, obnoxious sound before slowly closing his mouth again. Eyes fully adjusted to the daylight, he blinked in surprise at what stood on his doorstep. Potter, Black… and a nervous redhead that looked terribly familiar

 

Fucking hell. He told them to come today, didn't he?

 

Hadrian's eyes flickered behind him at the analog clock that hung on his peeling wallpaper. 

 

_ 8:34 _

 

It was far too early for him to deal with this.

 

“You're early.” He told them so before promptly slamming the door shut, turning around and making his way back towards the kitchen. He was quite proud that he managed to resist the urge to hex them for interrupting his beauty sleep.

 

Before he could even reach the end of the hallway the knocking continued, more frantic this time. He heard the faint yell of  _ “Hadrian!” _ from the other side of the door.

 

Sighing, he ground his teeth together and spun around, stomping back to the entrance, he pulled the door open once again.

 

“The fuck?” Hadrian voiced, pointing his glare in Sirius’ direction at the sight of his fist hovering guiltily mid-air.

 

“Listen we're sorry that we're early, we didn't think it'd be a big deal. Are you gonna let us in, or leave us standing out here for the next half hour?” James asked, arms crossed impatiently, the bags beneath his eyes far more dark than the last Hadrian had seen him.

 

Hadrian's eyes flickered to the woman who stood beside him and frowned. Red hair, green eyes, delicate bone structure.  _ Fucking hell. _ He had his suspicions when he first laid eyes in her, deciding to file the thought away for when he would get some caffeine in his system. But, looking at her now, he couldn't deny her identity. He felt sick to his stomach. 

 

The green-eyed woman seemed to grow even more uncomfortable under his gaze. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her eyes darting to each part of him, and her mouth was pressed closed so tightly that her lips had grown white. Hadrian's eyes trailed down to where her hand, small and delicate, was clenched tight around Potter's coat - the fabric wrinkled up as a result. 

Hadrian's frown deepened before he abruptly turned and began walking to his original destination. It was completely silent behind him for a short moment before loud stumbling ensued, followed by the soft shutting of the front door.

 

“I'm sorry about that, I-we were just eager to see you.” A feminine voice rang behind Hadrian.

 

Hadrian didn't remember inviting her.

 

Once reaching the kitchen, the raven-haired boy moved behind the counter and searched his cupboards for a good minute, whining in his throat when he spotted an empty bag of coffee beans laying haphazardly on the floor below him.

 

Hadrian swiftly grabbed the abandoned bag and crumpled it up, turning around he readied his aim at that damned man who dared steal the rest of his coffee. He paused. His other three guests stood at the edge of the hallway, wands trained directly at… oh. 

 

“It’s a bit rude to threaten other guests in my home, is it not?” Hadrian commented, pointedly eying their wands.

 

“He's a criminal.” James gritted out, his body tense.

 

“And you're a dick, but I'm not pointing my wand at you for it, am I?” Hadrian chided, clicking his tongue condescendingly.

 

Sirius snorted while the redhead gasped quietly. 

 

“Hadrian you  _ must  _ be more choosy about whom you spend your time with, I find that people who are prone to violence make awful company in the long run.” Atticus finally spoke up, sipping from his mug and looking unconcerned despite the threat behind him.

 

Hadrian glared and finally threw the empty bag directly at the other man's forehead, pleased when Atticus winced and rubbed at the spot in response.

 

“ _ You,  _ don't get to speak, you horrible, caffeine stealing man.” Hadrian scolded, pointing an accusing finger in his direction.

 

“ _ How  _ was I supposed to know-”

 

Atticus started to argue but was interrupted by James’ persistent voice.

 

“We have no choice but to take him in for questioning.” 

 

Hadrian turned back to the three, his eyebrows furrowing with incredulity, “That's gonna be a no from me, dog.” He told them, ignoring Atticus’ snort of laughter.

 

The reference flew straight past his other guests’ heads and left them with confused expressions. 

 

“You're not on the clock, are you? If you expect any sort of cooperation from my end, you'll leave him be.” Hadrian demanded.

 

James and Sirius looked like they wanted to argue, but kept silent. Meanwhile, Miss-Redhead’s eyebrows remained furrowed as she chewed on her lower lip.

 

“Fine.” James gritted out, reluctantly putting away his wand, the other two following his lead.

 

“Lovely.” Hadrian smiled pleasantly and clapped his hands together, “Shall we go for coffee?” He suggested.

 

They seemed bewildered at his change in attitude, but nonetheless short affirmations left their mouths after a moment's pause.

 

Just as the boy moved forward to leave, Atticus cleared his throat, “Might want to get some clothes on, hm, sweetheart?” His voice was wobbly with amusement as he gestured down to Hadrian's bare legs.

 

Ah. Hadrian glanced down at himself, just realizing that all he wore was his boxer-briefs and one of the man’s button-ups twice his size. 

 

“Ah.” Hadrian voiced his thought.


	5. Chapter 5

 

“Lock up when you leave, douchebag!” Hadrian shouted as he followed the three outside.

 

Lily's chest ached. Her throat burned. Her eyes stung. Who was this… She couldn't even think of a word to describe him. Not a man. Not a boy. Not  _ her  _ little boy. This was a stranger. A stranger who favored curse words and erratic behavior. A stranger who had not as of yet, spoken a single word to his mother. Then again, she hadn't done much in the way of that either, she just can't manage to produce the right words to say to him.

 

_ “Hello, you likely don't remember me since I left you with my horrible, wicked sister when you were small, but I'm your mother.” _

 

\- But was she? Could she  _ truly  _ call herself his mother? She doesn't even  _ know  _ him. What was his favorite colour? His favorite food? His interests? Such simple, basic questions yet she couldn't answer them if she tried. She couldn't even remember what the answers were when he was still small, still discovering his favorites.

 

She thought of her first sight of him - it was a startling one - standing there in the doorway, drowning in an oversized button-up and wearing a livid expression. His eyes bright with passion and his hair mussed from sleep, he was nothing like she pictured. She had always imagined a carbon copy of Charlus, minus the hair and eye color. And like in many other things, she was wrong in her assumptions. 

 

His presence was also startling in the way he behaved. One moment he was cold and aloof, the next joking and carefree. Lily couldn't determine which - if either - was genuine. 

 

Lily felt outside herself, her legs felt shaky and her hands threatened to tremble. She tried to quell her thoughts and focus on putting one foot in front of the other as she gripped tightly on to her husband's arm. Harry- Hadrian kept a steady pace a few steps ahead of them, that baggy button-up tucked haphazardly into his trousers and sleeves folded up to his elbows without an ounce of care. 

 

“So… where are we going exactly?”  Sirius asked, interrupting the silence between them.

 

Hadrian spared them a look over his shoulder.

 

 “Coffee.” He stated before turning back.

 

Siri scoffed and jogged forward to catch up to him, keeping a mild pace at his side.

 

“Oh, thank you so much for such a helpful answer.” He retorted in a snide tone.

 

Lily's step almost faltered when she spotted Hadrian's lips lift as he glanced at Sirius. He had a dimple, she had forgotten.

 

“Why, aren't you just a bundle of sarcasm and sunshine.”  Lily heard him reply in a dry tone.

 

“Funny, I was thinking just the same thing about you.” Sirius threw back, smiling back down at him.

 

And that was the end of their brief civility. As Hadrian looked on at Sirius, wearing that rare smile of his, he suddenly closed off and turned away. Lily briefly entertained the idea that she had imagined that small glimpse of a smile, of the sparkle of amusement in his eyes. But no, the silence was too tense afterwards, they all had seen what Lily had. She vowed to commit that brief moment to memory in fear that she would never see it again.  

 

“We're here.” The green-eyed boy announced, abruptly turning on his heel

 

Lily examined the café that they followed him into, it certainly had… character. It was small and rundown, heavily resembling an abandoned building. Not even a sign graced its entrance. It seemed most things in this city we're that way - old and unkempt, mysterious in a particularly worrisome way. She grew up in a poor little town as well, but her hometown seemed rich and vibrant in comparison to this. 

 

She trailed behind Sirius and in front of James - it seemed that they didn't like the look of this place either.

 

Lily slid into a booth that Hadrian had led them to in the corner of the small abode, immediately clenching her husband's hand under the table once he took his place beside her. 

“Four, Glen’.” The green-eyed boy across from her told a woman when she passed by. No other words were exchanged - she didn’t even look his way- and Lily pondered on whether or not the woman heard him.

 

“Do you come here often?” Lily asked him, her voice timider than she would have liked.

 

She resisted the urge to flinch back when his green pools snapped up to meet hers. “They have decent coffee.” He answered after a moment, the intensity of his stare leaving Lily forgetful of what she had asked in the first place.

 

She withdrew her stare, blinking quickly in lieu of shaking her head to bring some focus to herself. She forgoed the que to reply, far too worried about saying the wrong thing to further comment. Instead, James stepped in.

 

 “Most boys your age don't like the taste of coffee, far more bitter than a good old cup o’ tea.” Lily could see what he was attempting, as awkward as it was - small talk - however, she could also see that comparing him to other sixteen years olds was not the best way to go about it.

 

She found her suspicions correct when Hadrian’s mouth thinned, 

 

“I suppose crawling my way out of misfortune leaves me a bit unlike  _ boys my age. _ ” 

 

Lily couldn't help but think that he still seemed to be in misfortune, and if this was out of such a state to him, she couldn’t imagine how things previously were for him. She didn’t let herself ponder on the thought for long. The redhead saw James’ grimace out of the corner of her eye.

 

“Of course. I didn't mean it in such a way.” 

 

And silence ensued.

 

Lily startled when the woman from before heavily set four mugs of steaming coffee on their table, leaving as quickly as she appeared.

 

Each of them pulled a mug towards them, Sirius - as rash as he was - immediately lifted the mug to his lips. Only to retract and sputter with a grimace.

 

“There is such a thing as sugar, Siri,” Lily told him, a grin breaking out on her face, grateful for something to lighten the mood.

 

He merely glared at her playfully before carefully setting his mug back on the table.

 

She spotted Hadrian’s eyes darting back and forth between her and the shaggy-haired man, then, they landed on James.

 

Her muscles tightened when his face twitched, he looked to be fighting off a smile. 

 

“I imagine that you had to fight off quite a few suitors for your wife’s hand, hm Potter?”

 

The air was still.

 

James didn't say a word, simply clenched his jaw and reached for the sugar

 

Lily’s eyes shot to James and she tightened her hold on his hand. She could feel his pulse beating erratically against her fingertips.

 

Her eyes flew forward when Hadrian snorted.

 

“Don’t take so much offense. The Daily Prophet has endless gossip about you people, I always wondered how much was true.”

 

 She watched as Hadrian leaned back in his seat, lightly sipping on his coffee and lazily trailing his eyes across their surroundings. He seemed rather… bored.

 

Not a sound came from James in response, he simply clenched her hand and shifted his thigh to touch hers. Her husband needed her support and she certainly wasn’t one to cower.

 

“How is your ill-fated offspring anyway? Don’t hear much about him in the paper, must be quite an unremarkable child.”

 

Lily clenched her jaw and forced herself to seek out the boy's eyes.

 

“Your  _ brother _ is fantastic, Hadrian. I'm sure that he will be eager to meet you when things settle.” She told him, her voice firm and determined.

 

His eyes shot back to her, lightning-quick and his neat eyebrows noticeably raised. 

 

“ _ Ooh _ . She barks. I wonder if she bites as well?”

 

Lily's teeth grinded. How could he be so  _ insufferable?  _ Her boy was nothing like she had hoped, but she could admit, he was intelligent. He knew just where to target, where to attack. It was as if each of her insecurities were written out boldly upon her forehead, waiting to be picked and prodded at. But what Hadrian did not know, was that Lily was stubborn, she was bull-headed, and she would not tolerate him attacking her family.  _ Their family. _

 

She raised a single brow, her eyes piercing into his, 

 

“ _ She  _ bites if she is provoked, and her  _ bite _ is lethal.”

 

Lily felt victory swell in her chest when the boy's face shifted, it was mild, but it was more than she has managed to cause as of yet. It was  _ emotion. _ He was surprised. She had  _ something.  _ Perhaps not an upper hand, but it was a stepping point in her eyes.

 

Lily could hear an incessant tapping - Sirius - a nervous habit of his, and she could feel James’ thumb worrying circles onto the back of her hand. These things would normally annoy her, but she only found them comforting at the moment.

 

Hadrian was silent for a few long moments, he seemed to be studying her, she yearned to hear what he had discovered in his staring. To know exactly he thought of her. Though, on second thought, it was probably best that she didn’t. His demeanor shifted, and within a second, the tense, heavy air around them settled like dust. The boy shifted in his seat and breathed out, reaching his hand down to his pocket before frowning and resting it back on his mug. 

 

“Let’s settle this here and now, hm?” Hadrian began, leveling each of them with a serious stare, “I don't want to associate myself with  _ any  _ of you. Carrying on with your whims has been for my own curiosity's sake, and nothing more. This curiosity has been sated. Why don't we just accept this fact and part ways? Permanently, that is.” His eyes expectantly flickered between the three.

 

Lily could hardly comprehend his statement. She knew things weren't ideal, but they were family, weren't they? Did he really think that they - that  _ she  _ \- would just let him stroll right back out of her life after everything?

 

“What happened to books and exoneration?” Sirius spoke up finally, his voice accusing.

 

_ Exoneration?  _ Just  _ what  _ had these three discussed in her absence?

 

_ “Knowledge and freedom. _ ” Hadrian corrected him, “I have other ways of attaining these things. I'm simply suggesting that we leave things on a  _ peaceful  _ note.”

 

“If you truly believe that I-we would let you slip through our fingers after years of search, you really are stupid.” James voice was quiet and rumbling from beside her

 

Lily watched carefully, she could see the exact moment that Hadrian became angry.

 

_ Stupid. _

 

His jaw clenched, his hands tightened around the surface of his mug -  _ wasn't it hot?  _ He distantly reminded her of a rubber band stretched to its breaking point. And just when she was sure that it would snap back at the one who pulled, Hadrian slowly loosened his shoulders, his bone-white hands around the steaming mug, his tense jaw. He brought the mug to his mouth and  _ sipped.  _ He sipped the bitter liquid like a child does with the broth of soup on a cold day. In the back of her mind, this seemed so odd to her, a strange mannerism for his strange personality she thought.

 

“Then what exactly do you three expect from me? Surely not to abandon my life to join you in your pampered little world? I don’t belong there, nor would I want to.”

 

James snorted,

 

 “Our life is hardly  _ pampered _ , don't speak of things that you have no knowledge of.” 

 

Hadrian didn't snort in response, though it looked like he wanted to.

 

“I  _ know  _ that Lord and Lady Potter live in a great endless Manor hillside of Lake Peverall accompanied by their beloved son Charlus in the summer. I know that Head Auror and Head Healer, Lord and Lady Potter made the most prosperous, power couple this year according to those worthless magazines. I also know that the Potter family  is praised and  _ worshiped  _ for their son's defeat of the Dark Lord.” Hadrian paused, “ I may not know  _ you,  _ but I know  _ of  _ you, and I know  _ enough _ .”

 

“And if you know so much of us, then you should know that we would never let our son rot in this poor excuse of a town,” Lily told him, her voice steely and determined.

 

Inwardly her heart was aching. He knew who they were, he knew where they were and he never made any effort to seek them out.

 

Hadrian scoffed,

 

 “Poor excuse of a town, is it? Rotting, am I? I'm sure as hell in a much better state than I was when you left me.” The raven-haired boy’s voice was absolutely venomous, the words pouring out of him like a broken dam.

 

“We did what had to be done when we left you. It was either that or death, I'm sure that you prefer the former.” James snapped in his wife’s defense.

 

Just as Hadrian’s mouth opened, eyes stormy, Sirius interrupted.

 

“Now, now,” Sirius cut in, his hands hovering in a placating manner, “Can we just all agree that we simply wish to make a place in your life, no matter how small it may be. All of this fighting is unnecessary.”

 

Lily was silent, so was James, their eyes sought out Hadrian's’, patiently waiting for his response.

 

The boy’s jaw remained painfully clenched.

 

“I presume that compromise is in order then?” His words sounded pained.

 

The three of them mumbled words of agreement and Lily felt a weight lift from her chest.

 

Hadrian’s eyes darted between them and he sipped from his mug before speaking.

 

“The books are a must.” He spoke in a matter-of-fact tone.

 

Lily noticed James and Sirius nodding along, “Books?” she questioned, confused.

 

“He wants free range over the books in the Black and Potter vaults,” Sirius explained.

 

Her eyes shot back to Hadrian. Books? That was his first request in their deal? Perhaps he was like her in some ways, Lily felt lighter at the thought. A thirst for knowledge was a trait that she admired, but perhaps she could lead him in the right direction. Her mind began flying with ideas to approach him, as a friend? A mother?

 

Lily forced herself back on task, “While an appreciation for literature is something that I, myself very much admire, many of the books in pureblood vaults are of… questionable nature. Perhaps with some supervision, we can give you access to some of these books.” she tried to negotiate, to  _ mother _ him.

 

She watched as Hadrian’s eyebrows furrowed and his lips twitched upwards, his eyes darted to James beside her, then to Sirius at his side.

 

“...And, what are your two’s thoughts on this.. stipulation?” Hadrian questioned

 

James’ eyes flashed to hers, “I do suppose that some… regulation would be a good idea.” he conceded

 

“Some of those books really are dangerous.” Sirius agreed next.

 

There was a moment of silence as Hadrian stared at them before a slow smile grew over his mouth, almost devilish in nature.

 

“Say, I seem to remember the two of you already agreeing upon this particular condition just last night. Strange that is.. I almost thought you two to be the type of men who keep their word. I suppose it’s my mistake.” his smile wilted, lips becoming downturned and making him look far younger than he seems.

 

Lily’s teeth gritted together when guilty eyes searched to meet hers. 

 

“W-We did already agree,” James admitted.

 

“I suppose that we did already agree.” Sirius conceded.

 

“It’s settled then.” Hadrian declared, meeting Lily’s eyes straight on.

 

It seemed that her mothering needed some work, she wasn't used to having to battle in order to care for a child.

 

“Fine.” She gritted out, trying to hold some semblance of patience.

 

“And of course you will drop that silly little investigation of yours, won’t you? Leave Atticus be?”

 

The two men gritted their teeth and nodded. 

 

The boy cocked his raven-haired head.

 

“Good.” He replied, voice steady, “I do, however, refuse to live with you.” He said, point-blank.

James scoffed.

 

“You don’t really expect us to let you live on your own?” He sounded incredulous at the mere idea.

 

“You people are so controlling,” Hadrian commented off-handedly, eyes drifting away - looking like he’d rather be anywhere but there.

 

“We’re your family, Hadrian,” Sirius spoke up, his voice was soft.

 

He looked like he wanted to disagree, but instead just moved his chin to rest on his palm and stayed silent.

 

“It's agreed then?” Lily assumed, ready to settle the rest of these conditions.

 

Hadrian's breath left his nose sharply in a distant mockery of a laugh, “No, most definitely not.”

 

She couldn't understand why he was so adamant about this.

 

“Why not?” James demanded

 

“Because I'd sooner kill myself than be trapped within the same walls as you.” The boy said the words lazily, despite how harsh they were.

 

“It's inconvenient and dangerous for you to live on your own, especially here,” James argued

 

She watched as those vibrant, green orbs trailed to Sirius.

 

“I suppose I'll have to live with Black then.” 

 

He wanted to live with Sirius? Why on earth?

 

“Grimmauld Place really isn't in shape for… occupation.” Sirius fumbled for words.

 

“I'm sure it will do just fine.” Hadrian placated

 

Lily sighed, “I suppose if you won't live with us, then that's the next best place for you.” She reluctantly agreed, her heart sinking in her chest.

 

James didn't speak any more on the matter.

 

“If that's settled, we should move on to Hogwarts,” James suggested, swirling a spoon in his coffee.

 

“Of course.” Lily agreed.

 

“I don't know why you bothered arguing about my place of residency if you want to send me off to some atrocious boarding school,” Hadrian told them, his voice sounding significantly more annoyed.

 

Ignoring the insult towards the school, Lily explained their actions to him.

 

“Hogwarts' schooling year is only 9 out of 12 months of the year, besides it's a given that you would attend.”

 

“It's the best school in all of this side of the pond, it's an honour to attend” Sirius added

 

Hadrian rolled his eyes, “Yes, yes, I'm sure it's just fantastic. However, school and I don't bode well.”

 

“Says the boy who argued over books just minutes ago,” James commented

 

“I said that school and I don't bode well, not education.” Hadrian retorted

 

Why must he make everything so  _ difficult _ ?

 

“I know that you won't have a hard time catching up, I saw some of the spells you threw a few days back,” Sirius told him, a proud note to his tone.

 

“Who did teach you those spells, that criminal Atticus?” James added

 

“That's irrelevant.” Hadrian decided, proceeding to drink from his mug.

 

“You  _ will  _ attend Hogwarts then? It's a perfect opportunity for you to learn and find a career in the future.” Lily persuaded, wishing that he would just cooperate for once.

 

“Who says I'd be accepted?” 

 

Sirius chuckled at that one

 

“Anyone magical has the opportunity to attend, besides we can tutor you to the same level as your age group so you can attend with your year,” James explained eagerly.

 

Lily looked at him hopefully, wishing that she could hear what was churning in that curious brain of his.

  
  


Hadrian breathed.

 

He breathed in and out. Slowly. Cautiously. He mustn't forget himself.  He has purpose here. He has  _ opportunity. _

 

That is what these three were offering him on a silver plate with a shiny spoon to match. Pure, unadulterated, opportunity. He was many things, Hadrian, prideful being one of them, but wasteful he wasn't. Since he was a small, hopeless child, when a sliver of chance was held before him, he gripped it in a tight, blistering hold and didn't let go. Didn't let go until he was far from his troubled, sad little life, far from being the used and finally the  _ user. _   Hadrian's life was better now, he isn't beaten or bloodied, nor sad and afraid. But Hadrian's life was a far cry from perfect, he had responsibilities, he had obligations that he could hardly uphold.  _ Food, water, rent _ ,  _ safety, _ a  _ fucking job _ that he didn't have anymore. And  _ opportunity  _ was just what he needed to better this. To better himself. 

 

So he would comply - for now. He would play this little game just as he had played many others. He would  _ use  _ all that was given to him and  _ take  _ what wasn't.

 

Even as he thought this, he couldn’t help but doubt himself. These  _ people,  _ they  _ tested  _ him. It was like every word that spilled from their lips was specifically calculated in order to anger him irrevocably. Their ignorance would be tolerable if the absolute  _ arrogance  _ that paired with it wasn’t so ridiculous. They knew nothing of him or his life, and yet they insisted on knowing best based on the aspect that they were the “adults”.  One would think that adults would know how to treat someone with respect. 

 

Hadrian wanted to cringe at the feeling of their eyes trained on him - watching his every expression and reaction - trying to pick him apart.

 

“Fine. I will attend Hogwarts.” He answered, if only to get this interaction over with.

 

Their faces visibly brightened, besides Lily's - she looked cautious, worried. She needn’t be, not yet anyway. Hadrian couldn’t decide if her suspicion was more annoying or a welcome change to the eagerness the other two stared at him with.

 

“We'll introduce you to the headmaster, he is a very precious friend of ours,” Lily told him

 

“ _ Albus Dumbledore,  _ hm? Said to be one of the most powerful wizards alive - or the most powerful.” Hadrian commented absently, sipping lightly at his remaining coffee.

 

“So you've heard of him?” James inquired, quite unnecessarily in the boy's opinion.

 

Of course Hadrian had _heard_ of _him._ The infamous _Lord of Light._ Albus-too-many-fucking-names-for-him-to-remember-Dumbledore, Defeater of Grindelwald, Supreme Mugwump. He had seen him in news articles in the past, spouting one or another pretentious, oh so hopeful headline. It was not that Hadrian had any genuine dislike of the wizard he'd never met, it was just that he _knew_ what type of man he must be. The greater and wiser than thou, filled with shiny morals and beliefs. Hadrian didn't buy what the old man was always selling.

 

“I may have heard the name in passing.” Hadrian waved off the question, swirling the cloudy remnants in his mug.

 

His hand itched to reach in his pocket and pull out the trusty carton that was nestled there yet he resisted the urge. He'd rather not hear the words of a nagging mother.

 

“We can go to him now.” Sirius offered

 

Hadrian shook his head, he'd rather put off the inevitable for at least another night.

 

“Tomorrow afternoon. I have things to take care of.” He informed, pushing his mug away from the edge of the table and sliding out of the booth.

 

The others rose quickly in response.

 

“We'll apparate you to Grimmauld Place and get you settled in..” Potter told him 

 

Hadrian shook his head again.

 

“I'll move tomorrow.” his tone was final.

 

Hadrian dropped some bills on the table before turning on his heel and leaving without a goodbye. He heard intangible sounds of protest behind him, but no one bothered to try and stop him.


	6. Chapter 6

_“Peppermint pops.”_

Hadrian’s eyebrows furrowed at the words, one raising when the intimidating gargoyle before him shifted and revealed a stone staircase.

_Peppermint pops? What the actual fuck._

He saw Potter grin at him from his peripheral before he heard the other's words.

“Dumbledore tends to use sweets as his passwords.” He explained before heading up the twisted staircase.

Was that supposed to be endearing?

The red-headed woman followed her husband and Hadrian hesitated before doing the same. The climb was uncomfortable, it was too warm and far too narrow for his liking. He wasn’t fond of small spaces.

Emerging from the stairs was a breath of fresh air, the towering ceiling and wide space set him slightly at ease. The room smelt of old parchment and burnt wood with a distinctly sweet undertone. Past tall bookcases sat a chestnut desk with a white-haired man occupying it.

“Ah. Lily, James, lovely to see your faces.” The wizard stood smiling in a typical grandfatherly fashion, his lips turned down just slightly when his eyes met Hadrian's.

Hadrian wanted so badly to grimace, to curl his lip and turn his eyes away from the other. The older wizard's eyes - partially shielded by half-moon spectacles - were a light-colored blue and possessed a certain twinkle that irked Hadrian to his very core. The wizard looked the part of “all-knowing” from the shiny reading glasses to his ridiculously long beard. The only thing that threw it off was those preposterous, purple robes of his. 

The headmaster left his place at his desk and came to a stop in front of them - no - in front of Hadrian.

“And you must be _Harry.”_  The emphasis that was put on that God awful name irritated the boy to no end, “My have you grown, we have met before, though I expect that you do not remember.” Dumbledore looked upon him sadly, resting a comforting hand on Hadrian's shoulder.

This time Hadrian _did_ grimace. He smoothly shifted away from the man, careful not to violently shrug the hand from him as he wanted to. By the furrow of the headmaster's eyebrows, he wasn't very discreet.

Before Hadrian could even blink, the wizard's face shifted into a joyful expression, and he held out his hand to the boy.

“Let me properly introduce myself - My name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, I reside as headmaster of this fine school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” The man introduced, not even the slightest bit winded.

Hadrian didn't speak at first, he simply glanced down at the hand before him - reluctant. He breathed out then reached out, placing his palm against his and clasping.  The boy forced himself to meet the older man's eyes.

“Hadrian.” He replied, not bothering with surnames or titles, because in his eyes he had none.

Dumbledore's eyebrows furrowed again and he blinked slowly before he gave Hadrian's hand a firm shake and pulled his own away.

“Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, my boy.”

Hadrian was certainly _not_ his _boy._

“Shall we have a seat?” The wizard questioned them, his eyes asking the man and woman beside Hadrian.

James and Lily agreed, smiling and laughing at something the headmaster had proceeded to say, following him to the seats in front of his desk.

Hadrian didn't move, he was momentarily lost in thought. He had forgotten how condescending elders could be, he had gotten used to his little town and the nice little reputation he had within it. A well-earned reputation - one of respect. But here - in their eyes - he was just another child who needed to be carefully coddled and scolded with a firm hand. Needless to say, this didn't sit well with him.

“Harry?” Lily's voice called him.

 _Hadrian_ swallowed down his irritation and moved to sit in the last seat beside Potter.

“Lemon drop? Or perhaps some tea?” The headmaster offered - gesturing to a shiny glass bowl filled to the brim with obnoxiously bright coloured candies.

“Some tea would be lovely, Albus.” Lily requested

With those words, china flew from a shelf behind the desk and landed delicately on the desk in front of each of them. Hadrian's eyes trailed down to the wizard's empty hands. His fingers didn't even twitch. The little show continued when a kettle itself poured steaming tea into each of the teacups.

“I must first share my absolute relief and joy to see you alive and well, Harry. I must say that I feared the worst in your disappearance, it's truly a miracle to see you home again.” The headmaster told him, his voice serious with a warm note to it.

“Miracle is certainly a word for it,” Hadrian commented, leaning back in his seat.

He caught Potter's grimace in his peripheral. It seemed to be a new talent of his to cause that expression on him.

“An accurate one,” Lily spoke up, “I couldn’t believe my eyes - seeing him grown and healthy,” she told the wizard.

Dumbledore simply smiled pleasantly in response before moving on.

“I understand the want for him to attend Hogwarts, however, I’m not sure it will be realistic for him to begin at the next term,” the headmaster informed them as he began stirring a sugar cube into his cup,, “at his age he would start his sixth year. As you both know O.W.L.s are taken at the end of fifth to determine a student’s N.E.W.T level courses. I am afraid it is unlikely to catch him up in order to be O.W.L prepared.” 

Four-Eyes protested immediately

“He is completely capable! It’s not as if he’s a stupid kid!” James argued, his voice raised in pitch and volume.

“Of course not. Harry could be an incredibly intelligent boy, but being smart won’t catch him up on five years of education.” Dumbledore placated

“But it wouldn’t be five years.” Lily told him, “It’s not as if he’s been living as a muggle - magic wise that is - he has a wand and knows how to use it.” She informed him, gesturing to the boy in question.

Hadrian was almost surprised when the headmaster actually graced him with a baffled look in response to her words. He had the feeling that they’d continue the entire conversation as if he wasn’t there.

“I was under the impression that young Harry had been living in the world of muggles?” Dumbledore questioned, his eyes not straying from said boy.

“There is magic everywhere, _Headmaster Dumbledore_ ,” Hadrian told him, interrupting Four-Eye’s attempt to speak for him once again.

Dumbledore paused at those words.

“The trace?” He questioned next, unseemingly asking the boy directly this time.

“Irrelevant in the presence of an adult wizard, surely you know this?” Hadrian challenged, annoyed with the wizard's attempt to be subtle.

The headmaster leaned back in his seat and folded his hands, seemingly realizing his previous position - leaned forward in the boy’s direction, eyes searching relentlessly.

“Yes, I do know. The question is, how do you?” Dumbledore asked, wariness long replacing that persistent twinkle in his eyes.

“What is he talking about Albus?” James chimed in, confusion was written in his and his wife’s face.

The wizard spared them a look before sighing.

“When underaged magic is performed in the presence of an adult wizard it is impossible to tell which wizard cast said magic,” Dumbledore explained to them.

“How is that? I always assumed the Trace was tracked through wands.” Lily asked, her tone eager.

Hadrian couldn’t hold back the chuckle that came from him nor the mocking curl to his lips.

Dumbledore eyed him, “Why don’t you enlighten your parents to your findings?” he demanded more than asked, looking upon him eagerly.

Something about calling those two his _parents_ deeply unsettled Hadrian, yet he complied with the request regardless.

“So basically - the Trace is a fucking joke.”

Hadrian had a hard time not bursting into laughter at the gasps and scandalized expressions pointed in his direction from the two beside him.

“Language!” Lily scolded, face tinted red as she threw an apologetic look in the headmaster’s direction.

Dumbledore looked distantly amused.

“I suppose that is one way to put it,” he commented, mirth colouring his voice.

Four-Eyes looked between them, waiting for a punchline, “Care to explain?” he requested

Hadrian sighed.

“Why is it that accidental magic isn’t investigated? It’s underage magic is it not?” he asked the man

“Children have no control over such things, it’s probably just written off till they attend school, right?”

“Or is it because they live with adult witches or wizards who use magic on a daily basis?” Hadrian threw back rhetorically

Potter seemed to think on that for a moment.

“What about muggle-borns?” Lily questioned

“Have you ever wondered how Hogwarts letters find their way to muggle-borns?”

There was a moment of confused silence.

“What does that mean?” Four Eyes asked

“Muggleborns’ accidental magic isn’t within the presence of adult wizards, it happens in their homes in muggle populated towns. Sounds like an exposure risk if i’ve ever heard one.” Hadrian told them distractedly, curiously eying the books that sit on the shelves behind the headmaster.

“Are you saying that muggle-born students are found through accidental magic?” Lily questioned, her voice raised in realization.

“How else would a needle be found in a haystack? Consider accidental magic a magnet in this scenario.” Hadrian offered, “Purebloods’ letters are obviously long in the books, their ancestors already attending Hogwarts before them.”

“So what? The trace is a sham?” Potter asked

“Oh no, there’s a trace, but it’s not on underaged witches and wizards. It’s over cities and such, at least that’s my guess.” Hadrian shrugged his shoulders.

The two sat in silent disbelief.

“How is this kept secret?” Lily wondered aloud

“Children don't often question such things, thankfully, and the system is quite efficient. I hope that we can all agree to keep this between us.” Dumbledore said pointedly in Hadrian’s direction.

Hadrian just rolled his eyes, he hoped he wouldn’t have to speak to any students long enough to explain such a thing.

Potter sighed dejectedly, “The pranks I could have pulled if I only knew..” he trailed off.

Lily scoffed, “Consider it a blessing that you didn’t”

“So from what I gather, a witch or wizard found you and taught you magic? I can only hope that they didn’t teach you anything nefarious, there’s a reason why schools like Hogwarts exist.” The headmaster prodded.

“Would the killing curse be considered _nefarious?_ ” Hadrian asked, cocking his head innocently.

A needle dropping would have sounded like an explosion in the silence that followed.

“A joke.” Hadrian sighed.

“Ah.” Dumbledore voiced, “May I ask how far your education reaches?

Hadrian hoped that his sense of humor didn’t dull as far as theirs in extended time in their presence.

“Can’t I just take your owl test? I’d rather not go over every spell or fact that I've ever learned, that would take weeks.” The boy asked hopefully.

“You can’t retake these tests if you fail, Harry, and you need to pass in order to take N.E.W.T. level classes,” Lily explained to him patiently

_What the fuck was a newt?_

“I can assure you that my knowledge is not sub-par to another wizard my age. Just let me take the tests and be done with it.” Hadrian demanded, annoyed with how hard it was to do something that he didn’t even want to do,

“I suppose I can not deny you the opportunity to take your exams if you feel that you are ready,” Dumbledore conceded.

The two to his left looked like they very much wanted to protest, but gave in to the headmaster’s ruling.

Hadrian loved getting his way - even if it was determined by a man as old as dirt.

“Then I'd like to get it over with as soon as possible.”

“At least spend the summer studying for them, you can take them before the new school year,” Potter suggested

Hadrian thought about it for a moment

“Fine. Agreeable?” He asked the wizard across from him.

“I’d say so.” Dumbledore nodded.

“Fantastic.” Hadrian said flatly,  “Then I must be off, I have some packing to do.”

“About that,” Potter interrupted before Hadrian could rise from his seat, “We were hoping that you would reconsider your choice to live with Sirius, it’s really not a kid-friendly place,” he suggested.

Hands on the armrests of his chair, Hadrian's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes darted between the unyielding couple and the headmaster across from him.

“There’s no need to broach that topic when we’ve already discussed and agreed upon it.” Hadrian tried, hoping to crush any further disagreement.

“I must agree with James on this, Harry. Grimmauld Place stems from dark magic, it’s quite unsuitable for children.” Dumbledore added, smiling kindly down at him.

Hadrian’s body stiffened.

“We just want to be close to you, Harry.” Lily chimed in.

His jaw clenched tightly

“My _name_ is _Hadrian._ I’d think that you of all people would remember.”

These people were atrocious, how hard was it for that woman to remember his fucking name. Not to mention that they spend ten minutes in the presence of that headmaster and those two impressionable dolts carry on to his every whim like obedient dogs. 

“And, please do tell, why the headmaster of a school that I may or may not attend needs to be present for this conversation?” He challenged, looking between them.

“Hadrian! Watch your tone, Professor Dumbledore is a very dear friend of ours. You will treat him with respect.” Lily scolded him, her face flushed.

Hadrian held back a condescending smile, “Why would I do such a thing? What has he done to garner my respect, hm?” 

“Defeat the previous dark lord, for one.” James retorted, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Yet he sat and awaited a child to defeat the next..” Hadrian scoffed disbelievingly.

“ _Hadrian!”_ The echoed shouts left the two parents.

“Now, now,” Dumbledore placated, “I understand that the current situation isn’t one of preferability and emotions are high, but perhaps we can keep the fighting sparse,” he suggested in a calm voice.

“I believe the fastest route to accomplish that is to keep the interactions sparse as well,” Hadrian started, rising from his seat, “Tell Black I'll be ready at four.” he requested.

Potter rose from his seat as well, “We’re not done speaking!” he told him, voice raised, face growing red.

Hadrian spared him a brief sneer before turning on his heel and heading to the exit, “We are.” he told him, and without even a goodbye he made his descent down the stairs.

“Well, that went considerably well,” Albus said when the dust settled.

 

Hadrian ripped his clothes off their hangers and dumped the contents of his drawers into his suitcase. His breath was heavy, his body tense as he packed his things. 

Those _fucking people._ He felt regret in his decision to associate himself with them. He thought that he could handle it, that he wouldn't lose himself in any irrational grudge or hate. However, he has obviously proven himself wrong in every interaction he's had with them. He simply couldn't control the reaction that they arose in him, the frustration, the irritation, the _hurt._

Hadrian dropped himself on his bed and rubbed his palms into his eyes. He _needed_ control. Needed it as desperately as he needed air - it was the only thing that kept him sane in times of distress. He needed to remember that _he himself_ had the upper hand in this situation. He had nothing to lose unlike them, they have a _son_ to lose. He scoffed. As if they hadn't already lost him long ago.

His chest felt tight at the thought of leaving his home, of leaving his life, his books, his only real family. It made him want to panic and curl up in a ball under the covers which he currently sat upon. Even so, he refused to, he would keep his head up as he flipped to the next chapter of his life - the future. Something precious to him which he didn't always think that he'd have.

“Existential crisis?”

Hadrian laughed unevenly and looked up at the man who stood in his doorway.

“Close enough.” He replied, dropping his hands on his lap.

Atticus stepped forward and joined him on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard.

“You don't have to go,” Atticus told him, the words making him want to stay cooped up in the little apartment forever.

“I do,” Hadrian told him

The older man shook his head

“No, no you don't. I know you will and I know that I could never stop you, but you do have a choice here, Hadrian. You always have a choice.” He corrected him.

Atticus’ words comforted him, just as they always do. The man had a knack for always saying the right thing and Hadrian often wished he had the same talent.

“They treat me like a child,” Hadrian told him

The wizard smiled fondly.

“You're not a child.”

“I know that.” 

“Then make them know as well.” His voice was resolute, his eyes firm.

Hadrian bit his lower lip.

“They're stubborn,” He mumbled, feeling more like a kid than he had in years, “and persistent… dull company as well.” He added.

Atticus chuckled lowly, 

“You've become spoiled with my outstanding presence.” The man murmured.

Hadrian rolled his eyes.

“I've ruined you for all others, your expectations are through the roof..” Atticus shook his head slowly, his voice somber.

Hadrian shoved his shoulder, 

“The only thing you've ruined is this conversation. I was trying to vent.” He complained

“You were being far too self-loathing for my liking.” The man protested, “Since when do you back away from a challenge?”

Hadrian just smiled in silence. Scooting closer to the wizard, he delicately wrapped his hands around the back of his neck and brought himself close.

“I think that I will miss you the most.” He told him

Atticus recuperated by wrapping his arms around Hadrian's waist and pulling his chest flush against his.

“What, not your books?” He questioned - mock-surprised.

Breath left Hadrian's nose - a distant laugh - and he nuzzled his face into the man's neck, his elbows digging into their chests.

“Thank you,” Hadrian told him.

The man traced his spine with his fingertips.

“I'll always be here to cheer you up.”

“No.” Hadrian shook his head, “not for that.”

“Then... Oh. Thanks are unnecessary, Hadrian.” His tone was final.

He had a feeling that he wouldn’t be seeing Atticus for a while. 

Hadrian sighed and breathed in deeply before pulling himself from the embrace. He quickly stood before he could let himself stay there any longer.

He turned and leaned down to zip up his suitcase that lay on the floor.

“How long?” Atticus asked, unmoving from his place on the bed.

Just then a knocking echoed in from outside.

“Now.” Hadrian answered quite unnecessarily, pulling up the handle and turning back to him.

Atticus smiled, the forced nature of it made somewhere deep in Hadrian's chest ache.

“Go on then,” he nodded his head towards the doorway, “get on with it.”

Hadrian was still as a statue, his body locked in place but he forced himself to nod before he turned and sped out the door, his suitcase dragging heavily behind him. He refused to look back, he wouldn't be able to leave if he did.

Meeting Black on his doorstep in a rush, Hadrian interrupted before the man could speak.

“Get on with it.” He told him as he took his forearm with his free hand. And with a soft _crack,_ they were gone.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been weeks.

Weeks since Hadrian had left his lovely little apartment and moved to Grimmauld Place. The transition wasn't exactly smooth, yet it wasn't nearly as bad as he feared.

Their exaggeration over the manor not being suitable for much living turned out to not be much of an exaggeration. He was surprised that Black even lives there, it looked like no one had entered the manor in years. Not that it was particularly dirty or unkempt - it was the atmosphere - windows shut, curtains drawn, the air was still and silent. Not to mention the furnishing looked like it belonged in the previous century. Hadrian didn't mind it, he actually found it rather quaint. His bedroom was on the larger side, dark, old fashioned furniture occupying the space. It certainly didn't feel like home, but it was comfortable enough.

His favorite room in the manor was the library. It was cozy, with towering ceilings that the bookshelves reached. The room was circular in shape and directly across from the door sat the fireplace - seating and a coffee table adjacent to it. It was where he lounged now, in his chosen armchair, the fireplace and entrance on either side of him. He didn't like to be blinded if someone entered the room.

Hadrian leaned back in the chair - legs folded and book in hand. The sound of the fire crackling beside him was comforting in the silence of the house. He had spent many days and nights here just like this, that is until his eyes begged him for release or Black forced him out to _bond._  

This bonding really just consisted of an awkward meal being shared between the two of them. Black constantly attempted to make conversation - to get to know him - while Hadrian provided vague, one-worded answers. Some nights the _Potters_ joined them which resulted in him doing his very best impersonation of a mute. Hadrian didn't feel that he was being irrational in his behavior, it's just that he felt no inclination to speak with them.. The time which he needed parenting was long over and being treated like a child only caused him irritation. His solution? Avoid them at all costs.

It wasn't like he owed them anything more, they hadn't even followed through with their part of the agreement as of yet. He asked each time he'd seen them to which they gave him half-assed excuses involving 'being busy’. Did they really think that he would just accept that? He just wanted a few books for fuck’s sake. Hadrian wasn't as insistent on the matter as he usually would be, simply because the towering shelves that circled him sated his thirst for the moment.

Though Hadrian felt lovely spending his days in this little abode, learning and relaxing. He missed terribly. Missed Atticus, missed his work, missed using his hands for something other than flipping pages. He'd even tried to help Kreacher with housework one day, which needless to say, ended quite badly. Apparently, Hadrian had greatly insulted the elf's integrity.

Shaking his head to himself, he shut his book and set it on his lap. Shoving a hand in his pockets, he fumbled for a familiar cardboard box and set a cigarette between his lips. With a flick of his wrist, the tip lit aflame before dying down to an ashy flare.

“Muggle cigarettes again, Half-breed?” 

Hadrian froze and he slowly trailed his eyes above the fireplace. A large portrait hangs there, Hadrian had noticed it in passing before but had assumed it wasn't active since he'd never heard a peep from it. The man displayed was absolutely regal in nature, his cheekbones high, his hair slick and eyes a steely gray. Hadrian's eyes flickered down to the engraving on the frame. 

_Arcturus Black_

Hadrian deeply dragged from the cigarette before pulling it from his lips.

“No one likes a peeping tom, portraits included,” Hadrian informed him.

“Wandless magic, hm? Rather advanced for a boy your age..” The portrait trailed off, ignoring Hadrian's comment.

Hadrian leaned back in his seat,

“I'm a bit of a prodigy in case you couldn't tell.” He replied snarkily, having another drag.

The portrait eyed him,

“Prodigy, indeed. Where exactly has Sirius been hiding you?” 

Hadrian laughed through his nose, 

“Muggle England, your lovely descendant ripped me away from my perfectly happy life”

Arcturus looked horrified.

“Happy? In a hovel of _muggles?_ Merlin, what has my house come to?”

Hadrian thought on that for a moment. He resisted the urge to laugh at the sight of the man holding his chest right above his dead heart. Could portraits have heart attacks? A question for another time.

“I’m Sirius’ godson, that hardly makes me a part of your house.” He consoled

“That makes you the very future of my house, boy. Sirius Black has no other heir but you.”

Hadrian tilted his head and a laugh escaped him.

“My, I bet you’ve just been _stirrin_ g in there, haven’t you? Stuck with a half-blood to inherit your precious legacy. _Toujours Pur,_ isn’t it?” Hadrian goaded, flicking some ash onto the shiny oak table beside him. 

Arcturus leaned back in his seat - a replica of the very one that Hadrian himself sat in. 

“It's not as if I have any other options. My children are long dead, as well as most of my other descendants.” The portrait admitted, “Better a half-blood than no one.”

“Sirius is alive last that I checked.” Hadrian corrected

“ _Hmph_.” The sound left the portrait’s lips, “Sirius Black is a disgrace to our legacy. He turned his back on his family and consorted with those prejudiced light wizards instead. There's no hope for him, not to mention that he has produced no other heirs.” The man's voice was low and solemn, mourning the state of his house.

Hadrian stared at him. 

“How ironic for you to speak of light wizards prejudice in light of dark houses’ everlasting pureblood supremacy.” Hadrian strayed off in favor of another puff of smoke, his eyes bright with curiosity.

Arcturus chuckled, the act not quite matching with the dark look in his eyes.

“ _Pureblood supremacy_ .” The man shook his head and continued, “It is true, I suppose. Many dark houses tether themselves quite close to the idea - myself included to a certain degree - I admit. This concept derives from the will to keep our _families_ alive, our _legacies_ , our _traditions._ Mudbloods encroach themselves on our way of living. Slowly Yule became _Christmas_ and Samhain became Halloween. Their presence in the wizarding world will soon enough be the end of everything that we hold sacred.” The portrait's voice was steely and sure, he held no doubt in his beliefs.

Hadrian pondered on his words for a moment. He had never given much thought on the never-ending war between light and dark wizards nor pureblood and muggle-born. Hadrian was a half-blood, and he supposed his political views fell in the same category as well. He knew that his rather dubious to sometimes non-existent morals may place him in the 'dark’ category, but Hadrian didn't necessarily see most light wizards’ beliefs in a bad light. Sure he loathed their false propaganda of light as good and dark as bad, but there certainly must be a reason why light has always prevailed.

“And, why is this a negative thing?” He queried.

Arcturus looked scandalized, at a loss for words.

“Is change not the cycle of life? What would become of us when traditions are kept yet no new life is cycled into our population? Surely you know what happens when couplings made of too close relations bear children? Disfigurement, poor health, _squibs.”_ Hadrian continued, knowing that his last word would be the one to puncture the man more than any others.

“Which is why arranged marriage is taken seriously by ancient houses-” 

Hadrian cut the portrait off.

“Our population is small enough that arrangement will one day hold no purpose. Eventually, houses will die off with squibs and magic will follow with it.” 

 Hadrian rose from his seat and headed to bed without another word exchanged, leaving the old portrait and himself with something to think about.

He stumbled downstairs towards his destination - caffeine. Running his hands down the walls Hadrian almost tripped when an awful screeching reached his ears.

“Filthy Half-breed! How dare you dirty my pure walls with your existence!”

Hadrian rolled his eyes and kept walking by, purposefully dragging his nails down the walls now,

“Fuck off, Walburga.”

He smiled victoriously to himself when he heard her scream.

Entering the kitchen, his smile slid off his face at the sight of the people occupying the dining table.

“Giving my mother a hard time, are you? I applaud your work.” Black told him, smiling proudly from behind a newspaper.

“Good morning, Hadrian. Sleep well?” The green-eyed woman asked him next, her husband just greeting him with a smile.

Hadrian sighed to himself and trudged his way over to the coffee machine, silently thanking the gods when he found the hot ambrosia already in the pot.

He heard the woman clear her throat behind him,

“I brought over all of my old fifth-year textbooks so you can study. Had to dig them out of the attic - brought up some good memories actually.” She said, the cheery note to her voice sounding awfully forced.

“I'm sure that they are just _lovely.”_ He replied distractedly, closing his eyes in bliss when he sipped from his mug.

“It's only another month until you'll take your exams, sure you'll be ready?” Potter asked him, his voice a bit unsteady as it always seemed to be around Hadrian.

“Mmhmm” He voiced, to his beverage or to the man Hadrian was not sure.

“Lily made breakfast, why don't you come and sit with us.” Black insisted, patting the seat beside him.

The other two just stared at him expectantly, eyes wide and hardly blinking. _God, they are a weird fucking bunch._

Hadrian complied - as if he had any real choice - and sat in the offered seat, immediately digging into the plate of food in front of him. He was halfway through his meal when he noticed the lack of speaking around him. Slowly looking up, he grimaced when he saw those wide fucking eyes still staring. Hadrian couldn't even help what he did next, his self-control _did_ have its limits.

Hadrian's fingers moved - just slightly - and in the next moment Potter's glasses shattered and his wife's eyes abruptly snapped shut.

Nodding, satisfied with his work, Hadrian began eating again. Though he was interrupted when the table and his plate began rattling. Eyebrows furrowed, he glanced to his right and almost smiled at the sight of Black's form shaking. The man's hand was partially covering his smile and trying to keep in the sounds of laughter he broke a moment later when Hadrian met his eyes, his chest rumbling chuckles reaching his ears.

Hadrian's eyes shifted to his victims, their shock now worn off, Potter joined in Black's laughter and the red-headed witch just smiled uneasily - her eyes still glued shut.

Hadrian became annoyed, this wasn't supposed to be amusing to them. Perhaps he should shove those glass shards in their eyes, he doubted they would laugh then.

“Not another prankster.” Lily bemoaned, carefully tugging at her closed eyelids.

 _Prankster?_ He wasn't a fucking prankster, he was just someone who didn't appreciate being stared at like an animal at the zoo.

“Of course he is Lily-Pad, my son would be nothing less.” Potter smiled happily, not even seeming to mind the fact that he couldn't see.

He looked fucking stupid in Hadrian's humble opinion and he was almost thankful when Lily fumbled for her wand and fixed their eyes.

Despite his quickly disappearing appetite - and the general will to live  - Hadrian finished his meal and downed his coffee.

“Charlus is home!” Potter blurted as Hadrian rose from his seat.

Hadrian stilled and raised a brow when his wife hit him on the arm and plastered on a smile.

“...O-kay?” he responded, pushing in his chair slowly, wary of another outburst.

“We haven’t told him about your…” The woman struggled for words.

“Existence?” Hadrian added helpfully

She looked like she had been struck.

“No! Of course, he knows about you. He just doesn’t know that you’re... Here. And alive. We didn’t want to distract him from school.” She explained.

“And you're telling me this, why?”

“H-you- he's your brother!” James fumbled for words, voice raised.

Hadrian rolled his eyes.

“He's as much brother to me as you two are my parents. I have no inclination to meet him, nonetheless be his _brother,”_ he told them, turning on his heel and leaving the room, ignoring the shouts of his name.

Did they really believe that Hadrian would just cater to their every whim? Attend their precious school and form some ridiculous brotherhood with a child that he couldn’t even remember? 

Hadrian headed back to the stairs, harshly waving his hand and shutting the curtain to silence Walburga Black’s god awful screeching before it could reach his ears.

 

James stepped out of the floo of Grimmauld Place, proceeding to wipe at the ash that dirtied his robes. 

“That you, Prongs?” Sirius’ distressed voice trailed into the floo-room.

James shouted back his confirmation before making his way to the other man.

The sight he was met when he entered the study was a worrisome one. Sirius laid, his back on the wooden floors, breaths heavy, face covered in dust and dirt as he clutched onto the thick navy drapes that previously sheltered the room from any light.

“You okay.?” James queried, his voice dripping with hesitation.

The man jumped up at James’ entrance, his eyes wild.

“There's no hope James! This place is permanently sad and unwelcoming!”

James couldn't help but smile at his friend's distress. 

“Hadrian doesn't seem to mind.” He consoled

James wasn't even lying to the poor man. James hadn't heard a single complaint about the boy’s living situation - even though he secretly wished that he would. It was odd how the old place actually seemed to suit the boy well.

“I don't understand why he doesn't just move into your place. _I_ would move into your manor if Lily would allow it.” Sirius' ranted, shoving a hand through his messy locks of hair and tossing the drapes to the corner of the room.

James tried not to let the subject arise any negative feeling within him, but the sting of Hadrian's rejection was a sore subject regardless. Yesterday’s breakfast made his predicament far more apparent.

“It seems like a hopeless thing - trying to understand him.” He replied, eyes drifting off to the dust floating in the sunlit air around them.

Sirius' let out a long-suffering sigh beside him.

“Sometimes I don't think that we will ever get through to him..” The other man mumbled, not meeting James’ eyes.

James didn't bother replying to that statement, there was no point in refuting the very thought that he himself often had. There was no point in arguing just for the sake of arguing, they had enough problems on their hands.

Sirius' finally looked at him.

“He's.. he's not like us, James. He never will be.” 

James’ jaw clenched and so did something deep in his chest.

“I don't _care._ He doesn't have to ride a broomstick and play childish pranks for me to love him. He'll never be Charlus and I don't want him to be.” His tone was resolute and the words poured from him, words that he didn't know that he _felt._

Sirius' looked surprised and he felt a niggling of shame in his stomach that his friend would be surprised at a statement that should be a given for a father - regardless of the situation. Sirius’ eyes searched between his before the other man nodded.

“You're right.”

The reply was final and the absolute silence in the room felt far louder than it should. 

Sirius' nodded again - reassuringly - before crouching down to retrieve the abandoned curtains that lay on the floor.

“Is he around?” James asked, 

Sirius hummed in acknowledgment.

“In the library per usual.”

James wasn't surprised at the news, the boy was always hiding in the room, sometimes even magically barring the door to keep them out.

“Have you.. spoken to him much?” He asked, following the other man's lead through the house.

Sirius stopped suddenly and spun around to face him.

“Go, James. Go talk to the kid. If you want information on him, you'll have to get it from him.” Padfoot ordered, gesturing to the stairs with a nod.

“B-But-” he protested

“ _Go_.”

James sighed and nodded before following the other man's orders and slowly trailed up the long staircase. 

It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Hadrian, because he really, _really_ did. He just didn't know how to. It was like every word he said to the boy just infuriated him, and James had no idea how to remedy that. Hadrian was just nothing like him, they shared no interests, shared no personality traits. What could they possibly talk about?

Fuck. He was already at the library door. 

James paced outside of it. _What_ would he say? Hello, how are you? What are you reading? Yes, that seemed to be a good way to go, showing interest in Hadrian's interests. Yes!

Should he knock? Bust right in? Why was everything so complicated?

He settled on two brief knocks before entering the room. 

Hadrian was already looking at him when James spotted him in front of the hearth.

_Speak!_

“Uh, hey kiddo-” 

_Don't call him a kid!_

“-Hadrian, do you have a minute?” He finished, shoving his hands in his robe pockets after struggling on where to place them.

Hadrian nodded.

_He said yes!_

Well, technically he didn't say anything, but a nod was just the same. 

After a dumbfounded moment, James rushed to take the seat across from the boy. He cringed when he bounced into his armchair just a tad too eagerly. 

“Did you need something?” Hadrian's voice was dry, and James considered it a win that he didn't sound particularly angry.

“I was just wondering how you are doing here, I know that the change was very abrupt. I hope you've settled in well.” James told him, proud that he managed to string together coherent sentences.

Hadrian tilted his head and James wanted to panic. _Why_ was he tilting his head? And why did James feel like a teenage girl talking to her crush for the first time? _He_ was the _adult_ here. 

“I am doing considerably okay. Why the sudden interest in my well being?” Hadrian questioned, the boy's eye contact unending.

It hurt James to think that his son was confused about why he would care how he was.

“I'm your father, I've always been concerned with how you are, I love you and I want you to be happy.”

Hadrian looked.. absolutely baffled

“What… what do you want from me?” Hadrian asked, closing his book and setting it on the side table.

What did James want from him?

“I want to get to know you, I want to spend time with you. I want to be a family.” 

Hadrian's jaw tightened and the sight was about as intimidating as it got for the boy's soft features. The shifting firelight moved unevenly on the green-eyed boy's skin, the shadows painting his face far harsher than it really was. 

“What if _I_ don't want that?” 

James’ heart ached.

“Then... I won't force you.. I just ask you to give it a chance.” It pained him to say these words, but he forced them out despite his will.

Moments passed and the boy across from him said not a word, James took the cue to steer the conversation elsewhere.

“What are you reading?” He asked, gesturing to the abandoned book at the boy's side 

Hadrian's eyes flickered down at the book and back to him, he was silent for another moment.

 _“The Spellcrafter's Guide to Success.”_  

Spellcrafting? Did Hadrian actually understand that stuff? James couldn't grasp an ounce of the theory behind the making of spells when he was in school nor could he now. 

“And, you understand it?” James inquired, eyebrows raised.

“Why else would I be reading it? How clueless do you find me?” Hadrian's voice was terse but his body language pointed to exasperated rather than furious, or at least James hoped so.

“N-Not at all! You're brilliant! I still don't understand most of that complicated stuff, I never did take Arithmancy in school.”

Hadrian looked at him calculatedly before shifting in his seat and crossing one leg over the other.

“It's not just Arithmancy - it's far more complicated than that. Its spellwork, ancient runes, magical theory, and a dozen other things combined. It's weaving magic together and binding it to your will, whatever that may be, whatever you _want it_ to be.” Hadrian explained, his eyes shifting and _alive_ as he described it.

How could Hadrian, despite the life he had lived - what no child should have to go through - manage to rise beyond all expectations of a boy his age? He was _driven_ and passionate with a thirst for knowledge, and James couldn't help the pang in his chest at the realization that Hadrian really didn’t need him. That he never did.

“That's.. amazing, Hadrian. How did you come to know so much on the subject? I can't imagine you learned it all from books.” he forced out

Perhaps that dirty criminal taught him.

“You'd be surprised by what one could learn from written word.” Hadrian told him, eyes drifting off far away, “Atticus explained the very basics to me, I've picked up the rest from books he's gifted me in the past.” 

James _knew_ it. Just what else had that man taught his son? What else had he _gifted_ him? What values had that poor make-shift father instilled in him? Predictably not very good ones, and James felt undeniably cheated at the opportunity to raise _his son_ right.

 “Now, though,” Hadrian raised his arms in a show of the space around them, “I have this to learn from, and by tonight, your vaults.” He spoke, challengingly - _demandingly._

James never agreed to take him to Gringotts today, but perhaps it was for the best. His sweet Lily-Pad had been avoiding the subject for weeks, rattling on about it being a bad idea. However, James refused to break his promise to Hadrian - not if it was an opportunity to grow closer to the boy.

James nodded.

“Alright then, shall we go?” 

The pleased smile that appeared on the boy's face was well worth Lily's reaction.  
  



End file.
